Christine and the Phantom of the Opera
by sburkus
Summary: This is a story told by Christine Daae herself. It is a story about her decision to stay with Erik, the phantom of the opera and the fate she is destined for. Not movie based.
1. Chapter 1: Finding lost happiness

**Chapter 1**

* * *

Love. This word often pondered in my head for such long periods of time. A person can never be certain if they are in love, because there are so many kinds of love and someone can be loved in so many different ways. During those drastic moments down under the opera house where I had to chose between life or death for a person I surely loved in many ways, there would always be that one word that made things go mad with confusion and rage. 

If I could only remember one emotion that stayed with me the whole entire time Erik was rowing me back down into the catacombs of the Opera, it had to be fear. Oh, I was so afraid. He had gone mad, mad with love, mad with jealousy, mad for what he had always wanted but could never have. He was screaming, practically crying out as if he were cursing god above. His pained and mighty voice bellowed through the stone walls as he sang his sad tale.

But that isn't all I remember. I remember I wanted to help this man so much that, I had actually made up my mind to stay with him. I didn't want to stay with him, but everything in me told me I had to. He had given me everything he had, and I couldn't just walk away from a man who worships the very ground I walk on. Though I felt my heart was with Raoul, my conscience put it in my head that Erik needed me, and I needed him for a reason I hadn't figured out yet. The two wars in my head had settled as I walked closer to the man who was now in tears. He told Raoul and I only moments ago to go, leave him there before the mob would come. Now here I was returning, just me this time, heartbroken that I pushed Raoul out of my life forever.

At first he didn't see me, but once he did he immediately turned in my direction and was watching my every move. His mask was still off, and his eyes seemed to have drained of the anger and rage; replacing it was a very sad kind of defeat. I just stood there for a while, and glanced down at the ring that was on my finger. Erik too looked down at it and through his sobs I could hear him say, "Christine I love you" with such beauty in his sorrowful voice that I knew he took this as a rejection. It was during this very moment, my mind started to spin.

Raoul's reaction to my rejection was different. He practically grabbed a hold of me and thought I had been brainwashed. He kept shaking me and he kept saying, "He murders Christine! Please don't throw your life away for him! Come Christine, I will take care of you." But I stepped further away from him shaking my head in tears, unable to say anything else besides "No Raoul, I can't come with you, Raoul, I'm staying." His eyes glistened in grief and I could see his heart being broken before my eyes. Such a terrible sight to see the man I loved heartbroken by the fact he had to leave me here with another man and never return. He got in the boat and rowed away from me and soon he would be warding off the mob and their torches. I figured he would tell them that we fled from the opera house and are gone for good, though deep down in my heart I knew they would keep looking for us.

Now Erik stood right in front of me, his head held low and sad adoring eyes watching me, and I slowly showed him the ring that was still on my finger and took his hand in mine. He was taken back by this, being that it was a different reaction than what he expected, and I tried to be as convincing as possible.

"Erik, I…I want to stay with here with you, please-let me stay here-and help you-" and my composure left me as I quickly embraced him as I did before. And I kept repeating "I want to help you, let me help you Erik". It was my last hope to reach out to him, and as I pulled away to look at him, I could see his eyes were filled with worry and disbelief.

"Christine, I…I want you…to be…_happy_."

I did not know what to say to this. I was such an emotional wreck I had no idea whether I could be happy or not. Nor did I know if anyone or anything could change my state of unhappiness. Despite the tears on my face, I put on a smile and said to him: "My happiness is your happiness. Let us be happy, Erik." And that did it. He was convinced, and he fell into my arms once again holding me so tight it was like if he let me go it would all be a dream.

I tightly closed my eyes dreading what was to come. Living with a man whom I feared, being alone with him, it all circled around my conscience. I felt more like a robot, doing things not because I wanted to or enjoyed to do, but because my morals told me I had to.

* * *

My first night with him was somewhat distant, mostly because of the paranoia that there were search parties out to track him down. Many times he had come to me and told me that I could leave if I wanted to, especially if we were found. But as hours went by I was convinced for now the night would be calm. I sat there by his lake, and he was not too far observing me. I knew he must have noticed I was trembling with stress and worry, and as much as I tried to hide it, I couldn't.

I sensed him walking closer to me, and I buried my face behind my knees with my arms wrapped around them. I took in a deep breath and sighed wanting desperately to relax. I felt Erik place his hand gently on mine and I looked up at him. Almost immediately after doing so he placed his hand under my chin, encouraging me to stand up, and so I did. I stood there wondering what his intentions were, and before I could finish the thought, I heard his voice softly but contently singing to me. I closed my eyes, feeling that my ears were the only sane part of me now, and let his beautiful song take me away. If he was trying to calm me down, he was doing a really good job of it. I didn't recognize the song he was singing, so I assumed it was a song he wrote himself. He sang so wonderfully I don't even remember paying any attention to the words. I guess it was just his way of telling me everything was going to be okay and how happy he was now that I had chose to stay with him.

As much as I wanted to keep my distance, I couldn't help but lightly fall into his arms listening to his beautiful singing voice and the way his vibrato trailed off at the end of each note. He slightly rocked me as I closed my eyes and got lost in his music. I wanted to stay there, but I felt my knees becoming weak so I jerked a little and stood up straighter. His arms left me and I turned to him hoping that the look of disheartenment on my face had eased. He simply gave me a kind smile and said that I looked tired and I should try to sleep. I slowly nodded my head and told him not to worry about me.

It was late and I sensed that Erik was still up despite the fact all the lighted candles were now out and darkness filled his entire lair. I figured he wanted to stay up and make sure no one was still looking for us. I lay there for a while, in the boat-like bed he had for me, which wasn't very comfortable nor warm. The blankets smelled like something from an old dusty antique shop, and I tried hard to ignore how cold they felt against me. I don't think I ever thought about how cold it could get down under the opera house, and now that I was actually attempting to sleep down there, I could feel my doubts of getting any sleep at all. I just lay there shivering, wondering if Erik was going to spy on the upper half of the opera house to settle his nervousness. I continued to let my mind drift though my many thoughts, and one of them was actually questioning what my intentions were. The truth was, I had no idea.

* * *

I woke up the next morning with blankets wrapped around me like a messy toga. I had been tossing and turning all night. I sat up and noticed there were more blankets around me than I had remembered falling asleep with. As I staggered out of the boat bed, I looked around to find things awkwardly quiet. I could sense that it had to be at least noon. I messily ran my fingers through my brunette curls and quietly walked around. It wasn't long before I saw Erik sitting at his organ. He had his mask back on and he looked like he was waiting for something. Eagerly looking at the keys but not daring to touch a single one. I purposely made one of my steps louder and it startled him as he jerked around to face me.

"Good Morning Christine," he said politely. His talking voice was so much different than his singing voice. It was a much higher gentle tone with a slight unique accent whereas his singing voice was deep, powerful and spell bounding.

I stood there looking at him with my head slightly cocked to the side.

"Good Morning Erik, is everything alright?" He didn't respond but questioned me with his eyes.

"You aren't playing music," I said, giving him a subtle smile.

His eyes glistened when they met mine and he looked a little flattered.

"I didn't want to wake you," he said.

His response filled me with guilt, and it made me feel bad for sleeping in so long. He obviously loved to play his music, and not being able to do so for hours must have been torture.

"Erik, don't let me get in the way, I enjoy hearing you play, even if I am asleep. It will not wake me, I promise."

He then stood up and walked slowly toward me coaxing me with his gentle body language. I began to tense up at this, not knowing what he wanted me to do. He fell to his knees before me and took my small hands in his.

This was it. He was going to ask me if I loved him. Or worse yet, ask me to tell him that I loved him. I refused to give him eye contact, though I could feel in his gentle grip he desperately wanted me to.

"Christine," He began in a surprisingly sadder tone then what I expected. I finally looked at him, but then shortly afterward realized he only used the sad tone to bait me. My heart began to race and he deeply looked into my eyes, seeing my nervousness. He continued to study me for a moment, rubbing my hands with his. I trembled at his slightest touch, and he noticed this.

"Please do not fear me, my dear Christine. You know it brings me pain me to see you so frightened."

I just stood there for a while, and I opened my mouth to speak but he continued.

"I will never harm you Christine, _please_ don't be afraid," he desperately begged.

My timid eyes left his for a moment as I looked back down at our entwined hands.

"Christine, I love you."

He spoke with deep longing now, and I could feel his desire for my affection growing. My kiss had affected him deeply, and even though it was just a desperate attempt to calm him down from his madness, he was still lost in it. When I had taken his face in my hands and kissed him, he was trembling more than I was now. I had taken advantage of every vulnerable bone in his body.

I knew now that he wanted nothing more but to feel that again.

Then I felt one of his hands leave mine and it reached up to touch my cheek.

"I will be as gentle as a lamb Christine, and I will make you the happiest of women."

Half of me ate up every word he said, and the other half was becoming angry that Erik was trying candy-coat the kind of person he was. But then it crossed my mind that this man was left in the cold to die, and I was his last chance for happiness and comfort. And when he spoke of my happiness he was really speaking of his.

I stopped thinking so hard and looked down into his eyes, a little more confident this time.

"Erik," I said in a tragic worried-about-him way. I felt my eyes well up in tears, touched by his kind words to me. His face became saddened by the sight of me beginning to shed tears, but before he could say anything I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his shoulder. I felt him take in a deep emotional breath and slowly exhale while putting his arms around my small body. This wasn't going to be easy, that much I knew. But for the first time I felt comfortable in his presence.

Erik pulled away from my embrace and with my arms still around him he looked up at me.

"Is there anything I can get you to make you feel more comfortable here, my darling?"

The more I thought about it, I had left all of my belongings up in the opera house. What I knew I was going to miss the most was my vanity. I was pretty certain Erik wouldn't keep a mirror around. Being a woman and not being able to look at a mirror at least once a day was tough.

"I …I left all my things-"

Erik finally stood up.

"I will retrieve your things, Christine."

I knew that was going to be a bad idea.

"Erik, the police probably took my things, or they must have gotten rid of them. Even if they _are_ still there taking them will look suspicious."

"Child, if there is one thing I've learned living down here it is that people only notice when something is gone when it belongs to them."

I let out a small sigh and knew he would be venturing up to find my things whether I wanted him to or not.

"Please be careful Erik," I said to him.

He looked down at me, a little concerned, then took a step toward me and placed his hand on the side of my face. He leaned down slowly and his face started inching its way toward mine. I slightly turned my head to the side and he just brushed my cheek with his lips. I closed my eyes, and was glad he didn't try to kiss me on the lips.

Then I watched him row away on his boat, as he headed toward the surface.


	2. Chapter 2: This young girl

**Chapter 2**

* * *

Though I had regretted it, I decided to look around while Erik was gone. I figured he would not be back for at least a few hours. His lair was actually quite interesting with all his art, music, and instruments. Looking around I came across little gadgets and tons of music sheets. As I walked behind his giant organ, I came across a bookcase. It never crossed my mind that Erik was a book reader. I bent down to read the small print on the side of the books. Science, Philosophy, and ancient myths all were most popular among them. I stood back up and glanced around the entire area, looked across the vast lake, and figured reading might kill some of my time and would keep me out of mischief. The last thing I wanted to do was break something of his and upset him. I sat down in Erik's throne-like chair, and opened the book entitled _Ancient Legends and Myths: Vol. 1_

The book looked old but its condition was very good. It had gold-edged pages and small print. The book itself seemed wider than the rest. I flipped through the pages, and stopped at the myth portion. Reading I found myself becoming very interested. There were myths of ancient Greece, parts of the world, and of the mind and spirit. I eventually came to a topic called _Seeing the future through a flame. _It simply read:

_At the stoke of midnight, light a candle next to a stone wall. Make sure all is silent around you and lightly but quickly run your hand across the flame. Stare into the flame until you start to hear the sound of a faint harp playing, and then look up at the wall. Through shadows you will see your fate._

I closed the book and returned it to its spot on the shelf. Reading the small passage made me realize how desperately I wanted to know my fate living down here with the phantom of the opera. The truth was for the first time my future seemed so unclear. But no, believing a silly myth about fire wasn't going to help me. Besides, it wouldn't work…would it? Would I actually see shadows besides my own?

I decided to let go of the thought for a while and sat at Erik's grand piano. I played with the keys for a while until I picked up a melody and sang a cheerful song. I had missed singing, and it felt good doing so after so long. Pretty soon I was mixing songs together and entertaining myself singing them faster and faster. I couldn't tell you how long I just sat there and sang while playing, but it felt natural and refreshing.

All of a sudden I felt someone touch my shoulder and I swiftly turned around, extremely startled. Erik had returned, and looking a little guilty for startling me he reached out for my hand. I took it, and he led me to the boat. I looked down into it and saw a good portion of my clothes and belongings. I felt a pleased smile spreading across my face, and reached down to touch my things that I had missed.

"How were you able to get these back, Erik?" I asked.

"They were hidden away, and so I retrieved them," he responded.

I looked up at him, a little confused but then just let it go and started taking my things out of the boat.

He gave me a chest to put my clothes in, so I placed it next to the boat bed hoping to make the spot seem more like a bedroom for me. I walked to the boat bed and slowly tried to sit in it, but ended up stumbling backwards into it. I looked up to find Erik standing there looking at me with a pleased look across his face.

"You like that bed, don't you?"

I hated that bed. How Erik could even put it into the same category as a bed had me lost.

"Yes," I lied.

* * *

As the day went by, I started to realize how much I missed Raoul. I had not thought about him for a while; being around Erik made me shun the idea of ever bringing him up. I wondered if he was still thinking of me, because I was thinking madly of him. The more I thought about him, the more my heart started to ache. I looked down at the ring on my finger, which at one time held the meaning of marrying Raoul. Sometimes the thought crossed my mind that if I saw Raoul just one more time I would be able to find closure. But that wouldn't work, because I would end up just falling in love with him all over again. 

I felt a tear lace down my cheek, and I closed my eyes trying to block out the rest. I was sitting alone, not really knowing where Erik was or what he was doing.

"_Christine,"_ I heard a voice in my head say. It was Raoul's, and I felt more tears rolling down my cheeks. I took in a breath and tried clearing my mind of him.

"Christine.."

"Raoul," I called softly.

Suddenly I was out of my trance and realized Erik was standing right above me. It was his voice, not Raoul's. I saw anger welling up in his expression, and I shrunk back nervously.

"So, it is really _Raoul_ you still seek my dear?" He tensed up, and so did his voice.

I could feel his temper rising, and I began to tremble again.

"Erik," I said trying to explain myself.

"Silence!" He roared.

I looked down and saw his fists clenched, and I dared not look back up into his eyes.

"So, what is your plan Christine? Make me believe you love me and then go off with your Raoul and make a fool of me?"

I stood up out of the chair and started backing away from him, but he took angry dominating steps back toward me.

"Erik, _please_ understand that I was very close to-"

"What is your _purpose_ here then if you belong to _Raoul_?" He yelled, breathing heavily.

For some reason he hit a very insecure spot and my emotions started to control me.

"I _belong_ to NO ONE!" I cried out as my back finally hit a wall.

Erik shot his arm up as if he was preparing to strike me, and I brought my arms up to my face and let out a cry. He knocked over one of the tall metal candle holders next to me and it came crashing down in front of me. I fell to me knees, as they were now weak from fear. He turned away from me and continued shouting. With tears streaming down my face I sprawled up to my feet and ran away from him.

"YES! RUN AWAY CHRISTINE! RUN AWAY FROM THE ANGEL OF DEATH! HE IS A MONSTER! A HIDEOUS MONSTER WHOM ALL FEAR!" His enraged mighty voice bellowed.

I continued to run until I saw the boat and jumped in it, desperately rowing away while trying to catch my breath. It wasn't long before Erik turned around and saw me rowing away. He must have thought I was just going to run and hide somewhere in his lair, because when he saw me he ran back toward me stumbling over the candle holder he had knocked over.

"Don't go!" he called back at me.

But I was already across the lake, not looking behind. I was upset, angry, and scared. At that point I never wanted to return or see Erik again. I was going to flee, flee from Erik, from the entire opera house, from everyone.

It seemed the only place I wanted to go was the cemetery. I wanted to visit my father's grave again, and feel his spirit comfort me. I successfully snuck out of the opera house, not letting a soul see me. Once I was outside I found a man with a carriage and paid him to take me to where I wanted to go, and he did.

I was still teary eyed as I walked through the tall black gate, hurt by how Erik once again frightened me. As I walked up near his grave I closed my eyes and started thinking of my father. Such a gentle man he was, and he loved me very much. I opened my eyes and suddenly remembered a song he used to sing me.

And in my sorrowful but beautiful voice, I started to sing. My voice echoed though the cemetery as I sang the song my father used to sing for me, long ago.

_This young girl, look at her smile_

_I hope she finds her way_

_This young girl, with so many wonders_

_And a voice that carries you away_

_When she sings, she sings her story_

_Never wanting to be sad_

_Trying her best, trying her hardest_

_To make good of things that seem bad_

I was slowly feeling my passion grow as my voice lifted and soared through the sky and as I loudly sang the chorus and felt tears down my face.

_Oh this young girl, I hope you'll always love her!_

_Fill her heart with joy and laughter_

_May no one ever harm her_

_And may she sing her ever after_

_Here in a world full of fate_

_This young girl, may she always find her way!_

My voice held on to the last note until I was out of breath.

I walked over to an old bench and sat down. I used the back of my palms to wipe away my remaining tears.

_Christine…_

I looked around, seeing no one. Why were these voices in my head taunting me? Had Erik followed me? I took a breath and stood up. At that point there were a couple of things I could have done, a few places I could have gone. God only knew which way was right. I knew one thing for sure, if I was to return to Erik I had to put Raoul behind me forever and vise versa. Either way would be hard for me. After my decision was made, I started walking out of the cemetery.

"Goodbye…" I whispered.


	3. Chapter 3: The wall

**Chapter 3**

* * *

It was getting dark and I was back at the Opera House. There was a performance going on so it was easy to blend in with the crowd. I was able to sneak past a couple people I knew, and since I was becoming more familiar with a lot of Erik's trap doors, getting under the opera house was becoming easier and faster.

When I got to the lake I saw the boat there, right where I had left it. I hesitantly stepped in it, being as quiet as possible and started rowing toward Erik's lair. Getting to his lair seemed to take longer, simply because I was a little nervous about his mood. Pushing the entire boat by myself was very difficult, and it astounded me that I did it twice as fast when I was fleeing from Erik. The lake was very quiet, and in the candlelight it almost seemed peaceful. Pretty soon I reached his lair and I saw Erik. He was at his piano, his back was facing me and I noticed he wasn't playing. He was holding up his head with his hands and looked discouraged.

I slowly stepped out of the boat and stood there at the edge of the lake. Erik lifted his head, sensing my presence, and turned around. I held my head up a little higher, and deeply gazed at him with content eyes.

He wasted no time and came to me, falling to his knees and saying my name in sweet apologetic sobs. He had his arms out, but did not touch me with them. I knelt down to his level, fighting to hold my composure.

"Christine, you came back to me…why?"

I looked into his eyes and tried to be strong.

"Because I don't want to be a coward, Erik." I said.

He smiled at me through his tears and held my hands in his.

"I must tell you I hate the way my temper controls me, Christine. I hate a lot of who I am…but I hate it most when I hurt you." His eyes were fixed away from me, wrapped up in his thoughts.

"I am not harmed Erik! You do not harm me, you just bring out-" I took a breath feeling tears run down my cheeks.

"..how weak of a woman I am-"

"You are not weak," he said completely serious.

I stood up, feeling angry at myself and took steps around him. I let out a slight sarcastic furious laugh.

"I am but a small being lost and deprived of a father, I can't determine what love truly is and yet I have this-this moral _compass!_ Strapped to me which doesn't allow me to do _anything_ on my own! Anything I want to do, and still again! In the end I have this delusion that I am this emotional wreck when half the time I'm the only one around who can keep it together!"

I turned to Erik, who was now standing also.

"That's why you can't start believing I am plotting against you Erik, I plot against myself!"

I was ready to fall hard on my knees but before they hit the ground Erik caught me and held me tight in his arms, quietly hushing me.

"Oh, my beautiful Christine," he said, tucking my messy curls behind my ear.

"I'm here."

* * *

It was late, and I lay once again in the cold hard boat bed shivering. I couldn't stand this anymore.

"I'd rather sleep on the floor," I grumbled as I crawled out, half awake. I walked over near his organ, and looked at the old clock he kept around. It was nearing midnight. That's when I looked down and realized Erik had left a small lit candle on top of his piano. I walked over to it to blow it out, but stopped.

_At the stoke of midnight, light a candle next to a stone wall…_

I looked around. All was indeed silent. It took the candle and walked over to a bare wall. I closed my eyes trying to remember the entire passage I had read. I placed the candle on the floor and got down on my knees. I lowered my face so it was level with the flame. Steadily, I ran my hand and fingers though the flame. My shadow bounced as the flame flickered. Then I starred into the small fire. I watched the color of it and the way it glowed. Then I heard a noise in my head...was it in my head? It was…_music_. It was very faint, and I knew it couldn't have been Erik. Besides, this was...a _harp_. Four low notes on the harp being played repeatedly in descending order. The flame was flickering like crazy, and my hesitant eyes slowly glanced up, to meet the wall.

Shadows, many shadows...neither of them were mine. They weren't in a specific form…but wait, they _were_. I leaned in closer. Two shadowy figures, one clinging on the other as the other desperately tried to free itself. The two shadows were looking in the same direction, looking at the same thing. The taller figure, the one grabbing and holding the other from escaping, pulled out something that looked like a gun. With this the smaller shadow put all its energy into freeing itself from the other's arms. The tall shadow slowly and steadily pointed the gun at what they were both looking at.

The candle flickered, and the two shadows morphed into one...one shadow, reaching out...limping...limping...falling.

I let out a cry and gasped as I sprawled away from the candle and the wall. I fought to get to my feet but stumbled and fell again. The wall was blank now, and the candle was no longer flickering. Soon I could hear Erik rushing to find me.

"Christine, what is it?"

I felt my heart beating out of my chest as I tried to recover from the shock. I was breathing heavily and did not look at Erik, but kept my eyes on that wall.

"Heavens Child!" He said seeing how spooked I was.

I reached out and touched the wall, trying to find a trace of what I saw. Erik looked at the wall himself, then back at me, then back at the wall again.

My breathing slowed down a little and I glanced over at Erik and his bewilderment. He waited for me to respond, looking puzzled.

"Something- startled me-I-I had a nightmare." I said, looking down at the floor.

He reached out his hand.

"Come Christine, I will take you back to your bed."

As I lay there in the boat bed, my mind was spinning. I saw someone's horrible fate through that wall. Who was it? The shadow that was grasping the smaller shadow, not letting it get away...was it Erik not letting me go? Was I never going to warm up to this man?

What haunted me the most was the gun. Somehow Erik was going to get hold of a gun, and _kill_ someone. Was someone going to come back for me?

Then it hit me. Raoul.

Yes, Raoul was going to come back for me, and Erik was going to..

I clenched the blankets and bit my lip. It couldn't be.

But I couldn't fight it. One thing was for sure in my mind…someone was going to come back for me. And in my head it was most likely going to be Raoul.

Fate had unfolded and revealed itself…all though a stone wall lit with candlelight.

* * *

The next morning I couldn't help but be more quiet than usual, being that I was still disturbed from the night before. Erik only questioned me about it once, when I answered that I didn't remember so I must have sleep walked. I didn't eat much, not that I ever did, but Erik kept insisting it. He was worried about me, and I could tell.

When he spoke to me he spoke with subtlety.

"Christine, what's wrong?" He asked quietly.

I looked up at him, and tried shrugging it off.

"Oh I just fear I am not myself today."

He sat there looking at me for a minute, then stood up and walked over to where I was sitting and knelt down infront of me. He had a slight anxious smile on his face.

"I have a surprise for you my dear." He said.

I studied him for a second, and took his hand as he led me to his room. Before we got there he stopped.

"Close your eyes," he said.

I couldn't help but smile a little; he was trying to be cute. It just struck my as ironic. He led me to his room, and then told me to open my eyes. When I did, I saw my most missed possession sitting right infront of me, my vanity. I stared at the dressing table, smiling like crazy and ran to it.

I looked into the mirror seeing my face, feeling like it had been ages since I last saw it.

"Erik how did you get this?" I exclaimed with joy. Then I turned around to face him.

"and how did you know I was missing this most?"

Erik just stood there smiling at me.

"I just knew you would Christine."

I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his stomach and laid the side of my head on his chest.

"Thank you, Erik." I said.

"My my, what a happy mood I have put you in!" He said proudly.

I giggled against him, and couldn't help but silently laugh at myself for getting so excited over a dressing table.


	4. Chapter 4: The weight of the world

**Small note to readers: If you get the chance I would really appreciate a review. I would like to know how you like my story so far. Okay, that's it. **

Chapter 4

* * *

They say some things in this world are best left a mystery. Then there are the people who won't stop until the mystery is solved. I think some people cannot handle it when they finally solve a mystery. Its either not what they wanted, or its too crude and they turn away from it. I like to think of Erik as a mystery some people aren't strong enough to face. 

Though it was hard to think about, I wanted Erik to take his mask off for good. It would make him stronger and it would make me stronger as well. I wanted to get used to it because at this point if he took it off while I was off guard, things wouldn't be too pretty. I knew it wasn't going to be easy being that his face was Erik's biggest insecurity, but it was something that had to be done in my mind.

It was peaceful in his lair; Erik was playing music on his grand piano. He knew I liked it better when he played the piano instead of his organ. Deep down I figured he liked his organ the best, but I think he liked seeing me pleased more than anything else in the world. So he played joyous tunes on the piano, then darker symphonies, then one of his own songs. Erik loved to romance me with his piano, because he knew it had an affect on me. Every now and then while he was playing he would glance over at me and I would smile at him. Then he would go back to playing. Things were getting simple like that, and it left less room for complications.

On this specific night, however, a complication was to be brought up. For a moment I had a flashback of the first time I ever removed his mask. I did it while he was playing music on his organ, and he didn't take it too kindly. He chased me around cursing and upset until I fell and lay there on the floor scared as ever. I did not want things to go that way again.

I stood up from my chair and walked over to him. He played softer, sensing me getting closer. It was going to be hard to get him to stop playing all together, so I decided to use a little technique.

"Erik," I said, trying to sound upset.

He immediately turned toward me, his hands still on the keys. I turned away from him, not letting him see my face. I could feel him gracefully and swiftly rising from the bench and slowly coming towards me. I walked over and sat back down in his throne chair, as I liked to call it, knowing he would kneel down to my level like he always did. Erik got down on one knee and put both hands on the arms of the chair.

"Erik," I said again, his eyes told me to go on, and he gestured to just tell him, whatever it was.

I just couldn't find the words for this. So I slowly reached up and touched both sides of his face. He flinched a little, looking vulnerable, but did not seem to know exactly what I was going to do. When I started to run my fingers along the edge of his mask, he tried backing away. I took him by his shoulders, trying to prevent him from moving farther away. He looked at me in a worried state.

"Please do not fear my reaction to what's behind your mask, Erik." I whispered softly to him. His eyes looked glassy, and he swallowed before he spoke to me.

"I want you to be pleased with my appearance." He said in his gentle high voice.

"Stop trying to please me and just accept that what will be will be." I said, trying to get through to him.

I actually thought he was going to resist longer, but he just nodded his head slightly and looked up at me. I reached up and once again ran my fingers along the side of his mask. When my fingers slowly pulled the mask away he turned his face, following my hand and closing his eyes. Once the mask was removed I could feel myself squirm with discomfort. Looking at his face seemed to never get easier. I felt him shaking and I gently ran my fingers across his distorted face. I was practically ready to break out into a sweat trying not to make any sudden moves that would make him nervous. I felt a muscle in my arm twitch as I ran my fingers across his deformity. He felt it too, and took deeper emotional breaths.

He reached up and touched my hand, then stood up abruptly and turned his back to me.

"You don't understand, I _want_ to wear my mask. I don't want you to have to look at something so awful." He said.

I stood up from his chair.

"I know what's behind your mask, why hide it from me still?"

Erik was putting up his defenses now, and it was getting harder and harder to talk to him.

"It doesn't matter if you get used to this horrid face or not, the fact is you will always detest it."

"There are worse things to detest." I said.

"Yes!" The loudness and sharpness of his voice made me jump.

"But _this_ is something I can prevent! All I have to do is cover it, Christine! That's all I have to do and then you won't have to think about it. I don't want you to ever think about it."

I wanted to say something that would make him see it my way, but I felt trapped by his argument and used harsh reality to get out.

"It will _always_ be there Erik! Whether you want it to or not, hiding it will not make it disappear-"

"I do not want my face shown for your own _damn_ curiosity!" he hollered out in anger.

I stepped back, completely offended by his words. Tears of anger welled up in the ducts of my eyes. Is this how he really saw me? A devious little girl who only wants to satisfy her curiosity about his mysterious deformity?

I turned from him and started to walk away, but he wasn't going to allow me to leave this time, and came to his senses a little faster.

"Christine, no please stop!" He said running to me.

I stopped, not facing him.

"Please don't go," he said, sounding out of breath.

I turned around, but kept my eyes on the floor. I was tired of fighting with him, I was tired of him yelling at me for his own issues, I was tired of crying. I think Erik could see my spirit being broken, because he was quiet for a long time. So long that it disturbed me a little.

I felt him approaching me, and stepped back. I knew _something_ was coming.

"Christine, do you _love_ me?" He asked, keeping his distance.

I felt the weight of that question come down on me like the weight of the world. Not only was it more heavy than I ever imagined, I was completely off guard. I felt my whole body becoming pale. I looked up at him, flabbergasted.

"I don't want to see you unhappy, and…I don't want to _hurt_ you anymore! I need to know Christine, you shouldn't stay with me just for my sake." He was in tears now, and he looked heartbroken. Nothing hurt him more than letting me go.

He swallowed down his emotions and looked at me with strong eyes. His eyes glistened and he gave me a broken smile.

"You deserve nothing more but total happiness, I don't bring happiness, Christine. You deserve better than me."

He took his eyes off me and looked at the floor, like a young child who had just lost his mother. He turned and started to walk away from me, looking as if my silence gave him the answer he was looking for.

I stood there, feeling his hurt. How could I ever learn to love this man? He was a murderer, a maniac when he got mad, and a broken soul. Usually my morals would kick in about this time and tell me what to do. But for once my head was completely silent. No part of me was dictating my actions. I was completely free to do whatever I wanted. For the second time, Erik gave me the key to freedom. I was able to leave him and he would let me. But I stood there…why?

I couldn't leave. I didn't understand it, I couldn't leave! I could feel myself _changing_. The truth was I didn't _want_ to leave. And I didn't. Though I didn't have a reason, I stayed.

* * *

It was dark now, and despite all the lit candles in the lair, it seemed darker than ever before. It was especially cold that night, and for once I felt a little haunted by the eeriness of his lair. I knew Erik had gone to bed, probably thinking I left him already. I stepped in my boat bed, and pulled the blanket up to my chest. It felt cold and uninviting against me. I lay there shivering, feeling so alone. Why did I feel alone? 

I got up and stepped out of the bed. God only knew how tired I was, but by now I was used to not sleeping. I wandered around until I saw where Erik's bedroom was. Hesitantly, I approached the side of his bed, watching him sleep. His bed looked so much warmer than mine, and it was bigger too. He looked sad, even in his sleep.

I turned back and looked out toward where I came from, and the candles were out. It was total darkness. I didn't want to go back there, so I quickly slid under his blankets and into his bed. I felt Erik turn onto his back, and he tried slowly sitting up but I clung to his arm, shaking from the cold. I felt him pull the thick warm blanket up to my shoulders, and he settled down next to me. I laid my head on his arm, and it seemed the closer I was next to him, the warmer I felt. My shivering slowed down, and then it ceased to exist. I slept more soundly and comfortably that night than I ever had before.

When I woke up the next morning, I found Erik was not playing music like he usually did. I opened my eyes to find him sitting there observing me on the other side of the bed. I assumed he had been up for a while. I smiled at him, and he returned the friendly gesture. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, and felt a little sheepish with him watching me so intently. I stood up and walked over to the other side of the bed where he was sitting. I took a deep breath and looked at him.

"Erik, I have a confession to make," He raised his eyebrows curiously in a playful way.

"I hate sleeping in that boat bed."

He smiled widely and I slightly opened my arms to him, inviting him to come close to me. The moment I did so he stood up and reached out to me and I held him in my arms. He rocked me a little, holding me tightly.

"Christine," He whispered.

I quietly hushed him and he didn't go on, but told me everything in his embrace.


	5. Chapter 5: The spirit of rain

Chapter 5

* * *

I once pictured life down under the opera house lonely and depressing, but as days went on I found that I was actually more lonely living as a chorus girl on the main floors of the Opera Populair. Erik paid me endless little attentions and he would greatly appreciate _any_ little attentions I gave him. He knew when to leave me alone when I wanted him to, though it would drive him crazy after the first two hours and he would eventually try to charm my mood back to where he wanted it to be. Most of the time he would succeed.

The hardest part about living down in Erik's lair was not being able to see the light of day. Though the sun was something I definitely missed, I missed all aspects of the weather. It definitely affected my mood, but I tried my hardest to control it.

Even though Erik knew how much I despised the boat bed, he didn't seem to want to do anything about it. I at first anticipated him getting or building me another one, but he didn't, and the more I thought about it I came to the conclusion that he avoided it because he liked the idea of sharing his bed with me. Once I came to this conclusion, I knew it would be almost impossible to get another bed of my own.

He did however make me my own little bench so I could sit at my vanity, and I liked it very much. He was quite the craftsman when he put his mind to it, or I put his mind to it. It felt good having so many things done for you.

As I sat there brushing my hair, I could see my ring glistening through the mirror. How pretty it was, sitting delicately there on my finger. I hadn't noticed it for a while and soon I was lost in its luster. When I was done I placed the brush down and walked over to where Erik was writing notes down for a new song he was creating. When I leaned over to peak at them, he playfully shooed me away.

"Ahh, bashful now are we my angel of music?" I said, teasing him. He wasn't usually the one to hide his music from me, especially since that is what he used to impressed me.

I saw him smile a little out of the corner of his mouth, but continued to work on the piece. I walked over and sat down in the throne chair, and picked up a novel I started reading the day before. I only got to read a page when suddenly I lowered my book to find Erik standing right infront of me. I jumped and the book fell from my grip. I placed my hand on my forehead shaking a little.

"Erik, you mustn't keep sneaking up on me like that!" I laughed nervously.

He knelt down and picked up the book, and placed it neatly on the small wooden table next to me.

"I'm sorry," he said.

I reached over to retrieve the book but he took my hand. I looked at him and he seemed to want to tell me something.

"Christine, I want my mask off - if that's what you really want."

I looked into his eyes and tried to see where he was going with this. I was a little worried he would get angry again if I took off his mask, and I was also worried he was trying to trick me in some way and my actions would make him angrier. I glanced down at my hands, pulling them away from his. I was afraid to make a move or say anything because I wasn't entirely sure what he was expecting me to do.

Erik seemed a little distressed when I wouldn't respond.

"Please don't," he said.

When I looked up at him, his dark eyes were on me, silently pleading.

"Don't what?"

"Don't feel afraid to talk to me," he said softly.

"Please talk to me Christine."

I sat there for a while, choosing my words wisely.

"I want you to _want_ to take off your mask Erik." I said quietly.

He looked down at the floor, thinking about this. I waited patiently for his response, still feeling nervous. Finally I heard him take a breath before he spoke.

"I do Christine, though I think it will bring nothing good, I don't want to hide from you anymore."

Though he wasn't looking at me I smiled at him.

"You will learn the good of not hiding Erik, I promise you will."

I then saw him reach up and remove his mask from his face, exposing the ugly tragedy behind it. He placed his mask on the floor, and looked up at me. I could feel his nervousness now, and I tried as hard as I could not to change the expression on my face. I leaned in and wrapped my arms tightly around him. When I did I felt him calm down a little and I placed my cheek next to his.

I felt his deep loving voice vibrate against me.

"I love you Christine, more than you'll ever know."

There they were again, such heavy words he was throwing at me. But I didn't let them get to me, and I just let them in. Maybe someday I would be able to determine my true feelings for him and he wouldn't have to go without a response. Or perhaps he was right, and I would never truly understand how much he really loved me.

* * *

Though his mask was now off around me, he still acted nervous around me. Sometimes when I would approach him about something he would be sure that he would face me using the better side of his face. It was then that I realized how bad it felt when someone was nervous around you; it made you feel like less of a person.

I was feeling drearier by the hour for some reason, and I was beginning to think seeing Erik's face was doing this to me. I sat there, by the lake starring into the water. It felt almost as my spirit was dying. Erik saw me sitting there, and I felt him approaching me.

"Christine you don't look well," he said observing me.

I sat there frowning, not really knowing _what_ was wrong with me.

"Erik, would you take me to the roof to get some fresh air?"

He was quiet for a while, but then agreed and picked up his mask. After he put it on he took my hand and led me to his boat. Once we got in it I suddenly heard the rumble of thunder. Erik looked down at me when he heard it too.

"Christine, I don't know if the weather is going to allow us to give you fresh air."

I stood up and desperately tugged on his shirt, getting his attention.

"Please Erik, it won't take long - I don't mind a little thunder."

He seemed worried about me, probably wondering why I was so desperate all of a sudden to be on the roof. I really didn't know why either, it was just something I really wanted to do.

Through long stairwells and confusing trap doors, we slowly started making our way to the top of the opera house. At one point we actually had to climb, and Erik held on to me making sure I wasn't going to fall. When we finally reached the roof, the sky was dark with clouds, and thunder was becoming more threatening. I let go of Erik and ran to the edge of the roof, looking up at the sky. I closed my eyes to hear the clean beautiful sound of rain. Erik was behind me standing there covering his head, looking at me with concentrated eyes. He didn't say anything, but I could feel how confused he was.

It was pouring down rain, and lighting tore though the sky. I lifted my arms out and laughed joyously. Erik took a step closer to me as I twirled around, my face feeling cool rain drops on them. I turned to him, smiling.

"Oh it's just been so long – since I have felt the rain Erik! It has been so long since I have seen such beauty in these dark clouds!"

I could feel my spirit returning to me again, and for some reason it just felt so good to be out in that rain.

Erik lowered his arm, amused. He hitched an eyebrow and grinned at me with pleasure. His grin turned into a smile when I started dancing and twirling again, holding my arms out to the sky soaking wet. Pretty soon I tried playfully running past him but he caught me with his arm and lifted me up, twirling me around as I squealed with laughter. He laughed with me and it was the first time I had ever heard him laugh. He had such a beautiful laugh, so enchanting and cheerful. The world had heard him laugh once before but it was maniacally, right before he destroyed the chandelier listening to the duet between Raoul and I.

But this was different, he was laughing out of pure delight and happiness. He held me there waiting for me to meet his eyes. I looked down at him and removed his mask, and he let me. It was easier to look at him now, and I took his face in my hands. He gazed longingly into my eyes, and it seemed for a moment he got lost in them. He then closed his eyes as I leaned in and kissed him tenderly. I could feel his arms weaken and even tremble as he struggled to hold on to me, and his strength temporarily allowed him to. Though we were both soaking wet, his lips felt so warm against mine and despite how twisted and deformed they were, nothing felt more incredible. I lovingly deepened the kiss and he held me tighter, cherishing it. He anxiously sighed against my lips and I could feel him struggling even more to hold me up. He kissed me back affectionately and I could feel such devotion in his kiss. It was the first time I felt him actually kiss me back, being that he was so blown away the first time I kissed him. Finally his arms gave out and I was forced to leave his gentle kiss as he steadily lowered me to the ground. I giggled a little feeling how affectionate he was now, muttering words of love in my ear as my feet finally got to the ground.

The lightning was going like crazy now, and I rang out the water in my dress as Erik put his mask back on. He looked up at the sky and reached out for my hand.

"Come my darling the lightning is getting dangerous," he said, still looking up.

I took his hand and soon we were crawling back down into the catacombs of the opera house, to where his lair was. When we finally reached his boat, I sat in it shivering as he rowed it toward the lit candles.

The boat hit ground and I staggered out of it, feeling the weight of my wet dress as it threw my balance off. I went to my chest and got out a soft dry night dress, and slipped it on. It was a beautiful white cotton dress, with ruffles at the bottom. I buttoned it and started to brush my wet limp curls. I suddenly heard beautiful singing fill the room and the sound of Erik's piano playing. I closed my eyes and listened intently and found it was 'music of the night' he was singing. I still remembered the first time he had ever sang that song to me. What a beautiful song it was, and how beautiful it still sounded, even now. I sat there listening and felt my soul give in to the power of chords on a piano and the vocals of a man.


	6. Chapter 6: She knows

Chapter 6

* * *

It was late and I was lying in bed dozing off as the remnants of the storm passed by. I had taken such a big step, kissing Erik like that. God only knew what kind of turning point it would be. My love was something he yearned for so badly that it seemed I just wanted to make him happy already and I knew just how to do it. The only problem was I didn't want things to go so fast that I found myself dressed in a wedding gown again being rushed into marriage. I still wore his ring which reminded him of his desire to wed me, but now since I chose to stay with him I figured he would be willing to wait until I was truly ready to make the decision on whether I wanted to be his wife or not. There was so much to think about when it came to my future with Erik, so many questions and not enough answers.

I snuggled down and pulled the blanket up to my neck when suddenly I heard the sound of water being splashed around. I perked up and glanced toward Erik's room, wondering if he was still asleep. He hadn't left his room as far as I knew, but with Erik he could surprise me every time. I got up and walked close just enough to see he was still in his bed, sleeping like a child. My heart jumped when I head the sound of water movement coming from the lake in a distance.

_Someone was coming toward Erik's lair._

I started to panic and decided I would meet them whoever they were before they got to Erik and cause total madness. I hurried and started rowing the boat toward the noise of someone walking through the lake. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I could feel my cheeks becoming pale. I was hoping I would be able to ward them off, whoever they were, but doubts were filling my head, especially if it was going to be the police.

Finally I was coming closer to the dark figure; I couldn't really see who it was because of the poor lighting. I rowed closer and closer until I found the figure stopped walking and was looking right at me. I stopped rowing to find the figure was none other than little Meg Giry. Meg opened her mouth to scream but I quickly got out of the boat and put my hand up to her mouth.

"Meg it's me! Please don't be scared, it's me Meg, _Christine_!" I said in a loud panicky whisper.

She opened her eyes wider than what they already were and jumped backward, gasping.

"C-Christine?! So - it's – it's _true_! You're alive and you've been living down here!" She exaggerated, almost out of breath.

I loudly hushed her and looked back nervously toward the lair.

"HE'S THERE ISN'T HE? THE- THE _OPERA GHOST_!" she screeched, terrified.

It was hopeless, Erik was up for sure now.

"Meg, _listen_ to me! Go back up to your room, you shouldn't be down here!"

She pointed her finger at me, shaking.

"I _knew_ I heard you, up on the roof! No one believed me but I heard you laughing up on the roof of the opera house! That was _you_ Christine! I came down to look for you and you are _here_!"

She was breathing like crazy now, and I knew she had caught me.

"Everyone thinks you are _dead_ Christine! But you are alive and you live down here with-"

She put her small hands up to her mouth.

"The-the-the-" she stuttered through her hands.

Suddenly I heard Erik walking though the lake and soon he was right behind me. Meg took one look at him and screamed her head off. Shuddering from her scream, Erik put his arm up to his exposed face and turned away from her. Meg desperately started running the other way, splashing the water like crazy as her ear-shattering scream echoed through the stone walls.

I picked up my dress and started running through the lake.

"Erik, I must go after her!" I called back at him.

It struck me as odd that he didn't say anything, but I was more concerned about Meg telling everyone that we were down here now that she knew. She looked back and ran faster and I tried my best to keep her in my sight.

When we reached the end of the lake, Meg tried running up the long flight of twisted stairs but I finally caught up with her and grabbed her arm and pulled her back. She stopped and faced me, looking angry.

"Meg, stop this! You mustn't tell anyone I am down here!"

"Christine," she huffed.

"Making people believe you are dead when you are not is a horrible sin!"

I didn't think Raoul would go the death route. It felt horrible knowing everyone thought you were dead, and when Meg told me that it upset me a little. Meg looked at me and continued.

"And you live with that…monster!" She shrunk back looking behind me toward the lake.

"And Raoul..._oh_ Christine it broke his heart!"

I covered my face and started to cry.

"Oh Meg, he'd go _insane_ without me! I – I am his only hope for happiness. He would have kept killing - and haunting this opera house and I didn't want that, you _must_ understand!"

She looked at me with pity, and then slowly started up the stairs again.

"You cannot keep defending him Christine, he is a murderer and he deserves punishment."

She stopped and looked down at me, a ways up the stairs now.

"Eventually they will find you, you know they will."

With that she continued up the long stairwell and left me there at the bottom. Worry filled my entire body, and things didn't look so bright now that Meg knew.

My arms were hurting as I rowed back to the lair. Worry filled my head the whole way and I found it hard to think about anything else. I saw Erik sitting down fidgeting nervously with his fingers. I jumped out of the boat and he stood up, walking towards me.

"She knows now Erik," I said, defeated.

Then I repeated the statement, or more likely muttered it to myself hearing the horror of the words. Finally Erik spoke.

"Do you want to leave?"

"I will not leave you here." I said.

"No, I mean leave with me."

I looked up at him, a little stunned.

"With…you?"

"Yes, with me."

I had never before pictured Erik leaving the opera house. It was his home and he knew only of a cruel world outside his lair. He was ready to leave everything behind, his music, his instruments, all in order to live a new life with me. Putting such a man as Erik out into the real world would be a sad thing to watch, simply because no one would understand him. People were so cruel to him, and I hated to watch such cruelty. I wanted nothing to do with the rest of the world if their ignorance was indeed bliss. This man was my angel of music, he was my comfort as a child when I was sick with grief for my father, and he was the one who made my voice take flight and gave me overnight fame.

"I am not worried Erik, we do not have to leave."

Though my words relieved him a little, he still looked unconvinced and his eyes drifted off toward the lake.

"She was my friend Erik, she wouldn't tell such a secret to hurt me."

Erik looked down toward the floor with a look of a cold realization.

"But she would tell such a secret to hurt _me_."

Erik was smarter than what a lot of people thought, he wasn't just a music genius. Though sometimes he tried to make it seem different, he always knew the cold hard truth. Everyone was always out to hurt him, and such a fact made me feel sorry for him, especially since he seemed numb to it now.

I could tell he wanted my comfort, but my mind was still spinning on not knowing what Meg's intentions were. I still a little scared and I feared for Erik as well as myself. But I had faith in Meg, and I could only hope she could keep such a dark secret to herself.

That night I tried to sleep peacefully but Meg's voice kept ringing in my head. Over and over the short sentence drilled itself into my mind.

_Eventually they will find you, you know they will._

I did not know my future down in Erik's lair, but it seemed other forces were screaming it and I still didn't understand what they were saying. It only took one other person to find out about us and a mob would form once again.

_Please Meg_

I begged in my sleep.

_Please keep this to yourself._

But she was a young girl, and trying to keep a young girl from spilling out a secret was something almost impossible.


	7. Chapter 7: Just a man

**Note to readers: Been really busy lately so I apologize for the long wait on this chapter. I'm a bad author. The next few chapters should be speedy so I hope you enjoy them and continue to read on. **

Chapter 7

* * *

_The room was empty, and I was there all alone. Candles were lit around me and suddenly there were hundreds of people around me. They weren't people, they were shadows. They were after me, and I ran from them screaming. One pulled out a gun and shot me and I fell to the floor gasping for breath. Then they shot a shadow next to me and once it hit the ground the shadow turned into a person. The person was Raoul, and his eyes were cold and he starred into me. Thousands of angry shadows danced around the room and I tried to reach out for Raoul, take his hand. He didn't move, but his cold empty eyes looked angrily at me as he started yelling._

_Why Christine? Why did you let this happen?_

_The shadows around me all started to scream out in a haunting moaning tone._

_Why Christine, why…_

_Christine!!!!_

I woke up screaming in terror. My head felt dizzy, and I felt tears on my cheeks. It felt like the blood from my face had completely drained. Gaining a little bit of consciousness I looked around to find Erik right in front of me saying my name in a panicky tone. Like a small child I clung to him, warding off the thought of my nightmare. He held me tighter, and tried relaxing me by rubbing my head.

"It was only a nightmare my dear, hush now," he said, and patting the side of my head.

I looked up at him, then at my bed and realized it was indeed just a horrible dream.

"Christine, what are all these terrible nightmares that haunt you so?"

I just shrugged, unable to speak. My head was hanging low and Erik took my chin and raised it a little. I looked deeply into his eyes, and he tried reading mine.

"It brings me such worry to see you so frightened by dreadful dreams. Aren't you sleeping well?"

I wiped a falling tear from my face and clung on to him again, afraid I would slip into that nightmare again. Erik rubbed my back as I let out a small cry.

"Would you like me to play you something?"

I nodded against him and he stood up slowly and led me to his piano. I sat on the bench next to him and he put his hands on the keys and a soft beautiful melody filled the room. I sat there next to him and listened intently like a child listening to a lullaby. He played deeper, adding more chords and I could feel the hum of the keys inside me. It felt so wonderful, how he could touch me with his music. I tugged on his arm and laid my head against his shoulder, and slowing down a little he put his arm behind me, still reaching the keys with both hands while cuddling me.

I slipped into daze and I found myself daydreaming the very next moment. Erik's music could take me places I could only dream of. He stopped playing for a minute, and when I finally lifted my head I saw him grin slightly.

"Are you back to me yet?" He put his arms closer around me, leaving the keys.

I looked up into his eyes, feeling bashful by his romantic tone. We both slowly leaned in closer to each other but our tender eye contact was interrupted by an unrecognizable sound near the lake.

It wasn't a suspicious noise to me, but Erik stood up abruptly and looked out toward the water. He reached for a rope but alarmingly I slid off the bench and ran to him.

"Erik its nothing, don't worry-"

"I'm not risking that chance again." He said grabbing the rope.

"Erik please that's not necessary!" I tried snatching the rope from him but he was faster and pulled it away still looking toward the lake.

He swiftly turned toward me accusing me with his eyes.

"It's that _child_ again isn't it?" He said in a cordial aggravated tone.

I looked out toward the lake to satisfy him, and shrugged it off.

"There's no one there, it must have just been-"

My stuttering didn't help at all and he started to walk into the water.

"She can't get enough _can_ she?"

I let out an exasperated sigh, but suddenly through his rant I could sense hurt and I stood there listening.

"She must not be _that_ scared if she wants to return. Or maybe she just finds joy in being frightened, yes! Screaming and pointing at me brings her pleasure, and how I just _love_ to bring this world entertainment and pleasure! Yes, I love being taunted and screamed at, and why not just start throwing things at me and continue calling me vile names, what kind of man would I be if I couldn't bring hatred and detest?!"

Meg's reaction to seeing Erik without his mask had really got to him. His deformity was shoved in his face once again, and he stood there choked up and shaking. In terrible sobs he continued.

"Why can't she and the world just leave me alone, this – this - "

He lifted his hand to his face and covered it, hanging his head low.

I walked into the water to meet him from behind. I touched his shoulder and he turned around to face me. I took both of his hands in mine and led him out of the water. He dropped the rope while following me and I sat him down next to me.

I spoke to him in the softest and most gentle tone I could.

"She's just a girl Erik." I made him keep eye contact with me, making sure he wouldn't start putting up walls around his emotions.

He looked at me, shaking his head.

"And I am just a man."

We were quiet for a moment, and I reached up to wipe the tears from his face. He took my wrist and buried his face in my hand. I swallowed back tears, and took a deep shaky breath. I put both of my hands on each side of his face and squared it with mine.

I opened my mouth to say something, and when I struggled to say it Erik took interest and looked intently at me. I took a slight breath and tried again, and his eyes pleaded for my words. I gave up and looked down at the ground, unable to even speak. Erik took my hands from his face, and kissed them.

"I love you," he said whole heartedly.

I looked up at him and he gave me a small smile with his eyes.

"You know that, don't you Christine?"

"Yes, Erik."

I reached up and hugged him, and didn't let go for the longest time. What chaos Meg had created. I was finally able to get Erik comfortable with his looks and she put us back to base one.

Erik then stood up and slowly walked over to the other side of the lair. He picked up his mask and studied it, and I stood up.

"You don't need that," I said.

"I've needed this all my life," he said more to himself than me.

"My mother used to make me wear it, and she wouldn't even look at me until I put it on. No one would even think of seeing me without it."

"And when my mother passed away they didn't know what to do with me."

He stared intently at the mask and continued.

"I used to wander the streets as a child, not knowing what I was supposed to do or where I was supposed to go. What I wanted most was love, Christine. Oh how I longed for that one person who would show me any kind of love! But no one did, and I lived my life a slave to the horror of my face."

"But then when I first lay my eyes on you Christine, and I heard you sing… I knew I had found the one person who could possibly see _me_."

I walked over to him and took his mask from his hands. I lead him away from the lake and he allowed me too, seemingly no longer worried about the strange noise.

"Christine-"

He said my name rather uncomfortably.

"Yes, Erik?"

"Do you enjoy living down here?"

I paused and looked up at him. I wasn't sure what to say so I just smiled at him. He smiled at me and held my hand in his.

"I enjoy having you here, Christine. Nothing in the world could ever make me happier."

Living with Erik was honestly stressful. You could never escape the fear of being discovered. Nor could you escape the desire to be involved with the rest of the outside world. Since I didn't have any family it didn't bother me as much as one might think it would. It was harder to be alone as well, and I had to get used to Erik always needing to know where I was. But I learned as time went by that Erik's company was something I enjoyed. However, there would be times when he would get irrational or go through these emotional spells, and it was difficult getting through them because he took it out on me most of the time.

If it was one thing Erik was fascinated by it was having the luxury of someone to talk to. Sometimes he would just sit and talk to me for hours, and when I would stand up and tell him I was growing tired he would come up and embrace me, thanking me for listening to him and talking to him. It felt wonderful being so appreciated, and it was times like these he helped me slowly raise my confidence.


	8. Chapter 8: The key to her happiness

Chapter 8

* * *

It was extremely early in the morning, and for whatever reason I was awake. I liked waking up early, because it didn't allow the chance of a long nightmare. Whenever I'd lie awake by myself I would start to think about things for a long period of time. That particular morning called for feelings of curiosity that filled my head and since Erik was sleeping in, which was unusual, I decided I wanted to venture above the lair into the opera house. I had to do it quick and on the spur of the moment, because if I waited too long he would surely wake up. Slightly nervous, I got up and snuck around to the boat being as quiet as I could, and made sure no water would splash around as I rowed the boat away. I knew I would regret leaving Erik later because anytime I was out of his site he would slightly lose it. As I rowed away I started to think about all the confusing trap doors and openings I would have to go through by myself. It didn't matter, I _had_ to know what was going on, what was being said, and if Meg had done anything at all after she discovered us. It seemed odd to me that there wasn't another search party or mob looking for us. It was all too eerie, and I would go up just this one time to see what was going on. Perhaps that was the reason I woke up so early, the strange thought had finally hit me. 

The boat hit the other side and a long flight of stairs stood infront of me. I walked up them, and then walked through many other hallways and doors. Even though I was a good distance away from Erik now, I was still quiet as the dead. Every now and then I would stop and listen to see if I was being followed, but once I heard nothing I continued on. Soon I was there and stepped into an old dressing room, and didn't see anyone. Keeping a low profile I made my way into the hall next to the large stairwells. I stopped dead in my tracks however, when I saw a group of men talking. I hid behind a large gold statue near the stairwell, listening to their conversation. They were speaking of another formal ball, which would be held on the twenty fifth. How I missed such occasions, I always loved to dress up in beautiful Victorian gowns for balls.

Suddenly I felt my arm being grasped and I was yanked backward, which almost threw my balance off. I gasped and covered my eyes, filled with fear because I was certain it was Erik. I felt the person remove my hands from my face and I looked up to find it was Madam Giry. She pulled me aside, away from the group of men.

Her voice was a very loud raspy whisper, and she didn't seem as shocked to see me as I thought.

"Christine Daae! What on _earth_ are you doing?"

I opened my mouth to talk but she didn't give me the chance and grabbed hold of me.

"Do you have any idea what would happen if you were seen here?!"

I stood there, dumbfounded. I had no clue what was going on, and I wanted to ask her a million questions at once. For some reason, I could hardly speak a whole sentence.

"Madam Giry, your daughter, meg – she -"

"I know you are down there Christine, with _him_."

I started to tremble nervously.

"And – who else knows?"

"No one."

As confused as I was, I was slightly relieved.

"Madam, what has happened since I have been absent?" I stuttered.

She let go of me and looked out toward the hall. Her grey hair now had streaks of white in it, and her captivating wise eyes showed distress and worry.

"When the Vicomte met up with the mob, after that night you disappeared with the opera ghost - he told everyone that Erik fled the opera Populair and he took you with him."

I stepped back, and questioned her with my eyes.

"Fled? But Meg sai-"

"He didn't' seem too involved anymore, though, more heart sick than anything else."

"The next day I told them that I found you both dead a few miles away from the opera house."

I blinked, and shook my head a little in shock. She continued.

"You might ask how I knew you were down there with Erik, and my answer is very simple. The only way the Vicomte, who loves you very much and cares for you like no other, would ever leave you down there and just leave like that is if you solely chose to stay with Erik."

"I knew they would continue to look for you, so the only way I could stop such a desperate mad search was to tell them you were both dead."

She then looked up at me, with eyes that intimidated me a little.

"I don't know why, Christine, you would choose such a fate – when the love of your life was right there infront of you."

I hung my head in slight shame, and felt myself wanting to cry. But she continued on.

"I'm coming to the conclusion that you, miss, don't really know what you want – or don't know if what you wanted was good enough."

I didn't entirely understand what she meant by that, but the tone of her voice made me want to explain myself, though, I didn't know how to go on doing so.

"The things I want aren't always the things I need, Madam Giry."

Madam Giry shook her head in disapproval as if I was just spewing out a bunch of phrases from and old poetry book.

"Don't play with words and mock my understandings of life child," she warned.

I don't know if she was trying to get through to me or belittle me, either way it was making me angry.

"Do you know what your problem is? You don't know who you are, Christine, you don't know _what_ you want or what you need. You're just a child drifting through life blind to what is being offered to you."

"A life living as a countess is something I can't do right now!" I finally said.

"And why not, Christine?"

"I would never feel like I belonged, Madam."

I felt tears stream down my face, as I looked deeply into the eyes of Madam Giry. Her expression softened a little as she looked back at me. I cried very softly, and spoke slowly in a solemn tone.

"My soul, you must understand it is still weak – I have not spread my wings and learned to fly yet. Raoul loved me, madam, and oh I love him still! But he saw me as someone I haven't become yet, and I had to slow down – and I had to let him go."

I paused only for a moment and wiped away the tears on my face.

"Erik, he sees who I am – and he gives me time. He allows me to grow, to understand things…and at the very same time he allows me to find out who he really is. He has always been there, and because of him I feel like I have a chance to bloom into something beautiful…on the inside and out."

Madam's eyes showed a little understanding but I could still tell she did not agree with my decision, but I didn't expect her or anyone else to understand.

"This isn't about love, it isn't about freedom, it is about becoming whole again, madam, Erik and I are ones that desire to be whole and find true happiness within ourselves."

Suddenly I had realized what I had just done. I had found the true meaning of why I stayed with Erik. What I wanted was a wonderful life, and what I needed was a way to build my character in order to have one. Leaving with Raoul for any other woman would surely be the way to a wonderful life, but I didn't have the tools and the mind frame to take advantage of that. I didn't want to stay with Erik, because I thought living with Raoul was the only way to happiness. But my moral compass pointed to Erik because I knew he needed me and in a way I needed him. I was angry at the time because what I wanted, I thought, I had passed up. But in reality, Erik – was my key to happiness.

"Erik is my key to happiness," I whispered to myself right in the middle of my breakthrough.

"What?" Madam Giry interrupted, a little thrown off.

I looked up at her and she just shook her head a little.

"Christine, I can only hope you know what you are doing. I wish the best for you, and I will protect you as best I can. But you know Raoul will always be there waiting for you if you ever decide to return to him."

Suddenly a man called out Madam Giry's name in a loud voice.

"GIRY? Who is there?"

Alarmed and wide eyed, Madam Giry shooed me away and I ran off and found a trap door and hid in it. I peeked through a small crack and saw her face to face with a tall slender but tough looking man.

"You WILL tell me who was just here with you Giry and why she just disappeared and ran off like that."

I held my breath. I saw her lying to him, though she spoke too quietly and I couldn't hear what she said.

Then I heard my name come from his mouth.

I didn't want to waste any more time. I wanted to start making my way back into the lair, and as I ran through the dark pathway, I ran right into Erik. I fell backwards, and landed on the floor. He had followed me, and because it was so dark I couldn't see if he was angry or not. I could still hear the man talking, so I knew we were still close to the door. Erik bent down and pulled me up.

"Why do you flee from me like this Christine, why?"

He said this very loudly and I could feel my heart beating, knowing we could possibly be heard.

"Erik, please don't be angry with me-"

He walked towards me and soon I found we were right against the door, the light from the hall shining through the cracks.

"I am not angry Christine, I am upset you do this to me when you know how much I worry sick when you disappear."

I tried to hush him but he wasn't getting the hint. My heart sunk however, when I heard the man stop talking abruptly. Erik continued on.

"What is it you are doing up here that you feel so desperate to leave early in the morning for?"

I heard the man's footsteps coming closer to the door. I started to panic and felt tears coming on.

"Erik," I pleaded in a whisper.

But the man was up to the door, trying to open it. Just as the door flew open I was grabbed and jerked up around a tight separate section slightly above the door. I grabbed and held on to Erik, as he held on to a wooden post with one arm and held me in his other arm. The tall man just stood in the doorway, looking in.

"What does this lead to?"

I head Madam Giry speak in a calm collected tone.

"The furnace room, monsieur," she responded.

The man just huffed a little.

"We really need to take care of the rat problem we have," he said, and shut the door.

Pale as ever, I climbed back down and Erik was right behind me. I turned to say something to him, but couldn't say anything at all. That's when I fainted in his arms.

* * *

**To readers: Just wanted to say how much I appreciated the kind reviews some of you took the time to send for the story. I am glad you all are enjoying it. Thanks again**. 


	9. Chapter 9: Promise me

Chapter 9

* * *

I woke up in Erik's bed, dizzy and confused from fainting. I tossed and turned a little, trying to regain consciousness. I sat up and saw Erik standing in the doorway. He looked a little relieved that I had finally woken up, but I couldn't look at him. We were so close to getting caught, and just the thought of it made me sick with paranoia. I stood up off the bed and tried to leave the room but Erik wouldn't let me through the doorway.

"Erik," I began.

"I am not in the mood for games, let me pass."

He looked down into my eyes, and could see my irritation.

"You're angry with me," he said, like he was beginning to solve a puzzle.

Shaking my head I told him I wasn't and once again tried to pass, but he once again blocked my way.

"Admit it," he said in a calm tone.

I looked up at him and sighed in frustration.

"Well yes if you _have_ to know," I said.

Erik tilted his head to the side a little.

"Why?"

It seemed like he already knew the answer but wanted me to say it anyway.

"Because of you, we were almost caught Erik! If you would have just listened to me that man wouldn't have opened the door and he wouldn't be bringing up my name like he probably is now."

I stopped talking when I noticed there was a slight smile on Erik's face. It irritated me.

"You're smiling. I'm yelling at you and you're smiling?"

He looked at me trying to look serious, though behind it was amusement.

"Blaming me is a silly thing to do, Christine. You're the one who left me early in the morning to snoop around."

My cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He was right, but I wasn't about to admit it. Yelling at Erik seemed to ward off the shock and fear of the whole incident.

"I was _not_ snooping!"

Jokingly, he pretended to looked shocked. Then I turned my back to him and put my hands up to my face. He was always a sucker for the whole 'you made me cry' act. I heard him start to come closer to me. His amused tone quickly changed to an apologetic one.

"Christine, please, I'm sorry-"

I lowered my hands to reveal my smiling face and tried running through the doorway. He caught me, laughing at his gullibility.

"You knew I would fall for that didn't you?" Erik laughed as he lifted me up.

I playfully tried to hide my face from him. He was starting to see my decreasing fear and uneasiness around him, and he loved every minute of it. When Erik had first told me how gentle he would be with me I had never believed him. Now as days went by he was indeed extremely kind and gentle except for the occasional argument.

* * *

That evening as I sat listening to Erik's usual strumming on his organ, I came across the book of myths I had read that night Erik left me in the lair by myself. I picked it up and remembered my encounter with the wall of shadows. Holding the book tightly I looked over at Erik who was soaked into his music as always.

Erik's organ drowned out my voice as I quietly asked him if he would ever murder again.

He continued to play, as he did not hear me. I stepped a little closer to him, calling his name. He still did not hear me until I shouted his name one last time. He pulled his hands away from the instrument and turned around in his bench to face me. The organ still hummed a little.

I could feel myself a little short of breath as I tried to find the right way to ask him my question. He looked as if he was going to stand up but he stayed seated.

"What is it Christine?"

I set the book down and glanced over at the very wall I lit my candle next to, which instantly brought back the horrifying display I saw of the supposed future.

"Erik – would you promise me something?"

He looked at me critically and sat up a little straighter. I took a breath and tried to stand as straight as possible. It made me nervous asking him something like this.

"I have forgiven you for your past sins, I hope you know that – I mean I want you to know that," I began.

His eyes softened as he looked down then up at me again. He looked as if he wanted me to come closer to him but I kept my distance, and forced myself to drag out my question.

"Would you ever promise me to never kill again?"

Uncomfortable silence filled the room. I felt too sheepish to look back into his eyes now, though I could feel his were still directly on me. I closed my eyes, feeling foolish and regretting what I had just said. I thought seriously about running off. Then he spoke in a strong voice.

"I have no reason to murder anymore, Christine, now that I have you."

I found the courage to look at him, and felt relief.

"You have driven those demons away." He said.

I turned and looked toward the blank wall and I heard Erik stand up behind me.

"You saw something, didn't you?" I heard him say.

I turned around quickly and looked away.

"What are you talking about?" I couldn't believe he had caught me.

"All you've done since that night you woke with a nightmare in your head is look at that very same wall."

He paused, and turned me toward him. He lifted my chin up and looked deeply into my eyes.

"Tell me what you saw Christine, I want to know what bothers you so about a simple wall."

I stepped back.

At that point I convinced myself that nothing I saw on that wall was real, it was all in my mind. It was like a bad dream of something I was afraid of, and it wasn't the future. Erik just told me he had no reason to kill, and I had to believe him. I had to.

"Promise me, Erik," I pleaded.

I clung to him.

"Promise me you wont ever kill again, even if it seems you have to in order to get something you want or to defend yourself or me or-"

"Christine, look at me."

He held my hand and looked as if he was going to give me a speech on how he couldn't grant me that promise.

I looked up at him and felt my heart beating. His face had an expression of uneasiness and concern. I could feel his pulse become more rapid as I held his hand tighter. I then felt my eyes becoming a little misty.

"Promise me," I asked again softly.

He looked down toward the floor and closed his eyes.

"I promise you, Christine."

He sat down and ran his palm nervously across his forehead. I sat down next to him; for a minute it seemed like he didn't see me or I wasn't there. He just sat there, lost in his thoughts. I moved closer to him and ran the back of my fingers down the side of his cheek. He took my hand and kissed it and looked into my eyes.

"Would you do something, Christine?"

I blinked and sat up a little straighter.

"No matter what happens to me, will you always remember me?"

Erik's request made sympathy swell up inside me. It was a simple request, and he was already thinking of the worst.

"I will always remember you Erik, and you will be with me for a long time before then."

His eyes welled up in tears and I leaned in to kiss his forehead. When I pulled away he reached out to me and kept me close to him. I placed my hands on his face and he subtlety leaned in and kissed me. I kissed him back, feeling his tender soft lips, and once he pulled away he put his mouth slightly against my ear. I felt his warm breath send a tingling sensation down my neck as he spoke to me.

"Marry me Christine," he whispered.

I pulled away and turned to him, a little shocked. He caressed my hands and looked anxious.

"You don't have to tell me you love me, just be my wife…just care for me."

"I do care for you, Erik-"

"Then let me be your husband, I will do anything for you – I will want nothing more but your hand in marriage."

I couldn't speak. I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

"That's the promise I want from you Christine, promise me that!"

"Erik-"

Erik got on his knees infront of me and locked his eyes with mine. His voice was cracking with emotion.

"Christine, _please_…I love you so much…."

He pulled out the ring he had given me. I had taken it off my finger a while back and thought I had lost it.

Shaking, I extended my hand out to him. He slipped the ring on my finger and looked up at me for my answer.

I started to stutter and felt dizzy. What was I going to do? There was only one thing left to do.

"Yes, I will marry you."

After I said those words Erik buried his face in my hands and kissed them. He then picked me up and embraced me.

"My wife," he repeated those words over and over again.

Though I never really asked him, that was one of the happiest moments of Erik's life.


	10. Chapter 10: Wedding

Chapter 10

* * *

**hiya strangers! I have been without a computer for months! It's been awesome[/sarcasm So yeah, i've missed writing this fanfic so now that i have a new computer i will be finishing it! Sorry you guys have been hanging all this time, but i'll have you know this is far from over. The best is yet to come. So anywho, to chapter 10...**

* * *

What I once feared the most had come true. I was to marry Erik. It hadn't actually hit me until I put on my wedding dress. I stood there looking through the mirror, a confused and unsure bride. I was the one who accepted his proposal, yet I felt so trapped. I slipped on long white satin gloves and tried clearing my mind of doubts. As I tried desperately to tie the back of the wedding dress, my mind wandered back to Raoul for a moment. I still thought of him every now and then, and would wonder where he was or what he was doing.

I felt my waist suddenly tighten as Erik tied it when he came up behind me. I turned around and he placed a long laced veil on my head and smiled. He continued to fixing anything crooked or out of place, almost as if I were a wedding doll he wanted to dress perfectly. He fluffed my dress and looked into my eyes.

"You look ravishing," he said, smiling with pleasure.

I could feel myself blushing and looked down. He took my hand.

"This is such a happy day my life, Christine, the day I know we will be forever joined in marriage."

I stood there and smiled at him, and glanced up at the clock. It was around eleven o' clock.

"We shall be married by noon, Christine."

* * *

Writing a marriage vow isn't as easy as you might think. I couldn't lie in a vow, and it had to be straight from my heart. It is a promise. I had to write a promise to him. As I sat down thinking, I started to write. I wasn't much of a writer, but it was my wedding day and I had to make the best of it. 

Erik walked in and stood in the doorway looking at me. I glanced up and continued writing my vows. After I finished I studied them for a moment. I took a breath and hoped they were the right words Erik needed to hear.

As my marriage was nearing, I pulled out a picture of my father and gazed hopelessly at it for a long while.

_Father_, I thought, _I hope I am making the right decision_.

Then it was noon. I walked around until I found Erik, dressed very neatly. Soft flickering candlelight spilled throughout the dark room and beautiful rose petals covered the floor. The place was indeed decorated for a wedding. Erik's tall grandfather clock showed twelve o' clock. I was quite a ways from Erik and he reached out his hand for me. I pulled the lace from my veil down so it covered my face and hesitantly started to walk towards him. My heart was beating like crazy the whole way. When I came to a reasonable distance I took his hand and he led me to the center of the room. Though a heavy laced veil was distorting my vision, I could see his eyes twinkling and his expression glowing with pride. I smiled nervously.

He took both of my hands and kissed them.

"Are you ready my dear?"

I took a deep breath, and in a trembling voice I answered.

"Yes, Erik."

Without anymore hesitation, Erik began his vow to me.

"Christine," he began,

"Today I take you for my wife. Now you shall feel no more sorrow, for I will be your shelter. I will no longer feel the pain of loneliness, for you are my happiness. There is only one life before us, and the seasons of our life will be so wonderful, oh Christine they will! I promise to love, honor, and cherish you always, no matter what lies before us, for as long as I live."

It was a typical but beautiful vow. I couldn't really see his face now because of the veil, or maybe it was because one of the candles went out. I paced myself and my voice was a little stronger but slower.

"I, Christine Daae,-"

My heart leapt for a moment realizing what I was doing. I've never really had stage fright, being that since I was 8 I have lived on the stage, but right at that moment it was if my mind completely froze infront of someone.

I began taking shallow breathes and started shaking. Erik tried rubbing my hand gently to calm me down. I closed my eyes and tried to get my mind straight and working. I couldn't blow this, I thought. _The show must go on_.

I began to speak again.

"I, Christine Daae, take you, Erik, to be my husband, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and to stay with you, for all eternity."

After I had said my vow, my shoulders felt a little lighter. It was over with. I tried to look through my veil to see Erik. I was a little nervous wondering if he actually trusted that my vow was genuine after my slight panic attack. I felt my veil being lifted and I saw Erik with tears in his eyes. But they were tears that didn't make me sad.

Through his tears he smiled at me.

"Do you take me for your husband?"

"I do."

I squeezed his hands tighter.

"Do you take me for your wife, Erik?"

Erik sighed and closed his eyes, then opened them and looked into mine.

"Oh, Christine…I do."

He leaned in and gave me a proper kiss on my forehead and it was done. We were married.

Some hours later, I could hear the sound of an opera performance to begin. I sat down and tried my hardest to listen to it. The sound was muffled but skilled. How I missed the shows these days. Living in an opera house most of your life, one thing was certain, nothing could entertain you more than a good opera.

"Christine, would you like to go see the opera?"

I looked up at him, a little surprised.

"Erik, we can't go up there. You know that."

Erik glanced upward listening to the singing.

"Oh I've done it for years, Christine. As long as there is a special box open for us, nothing will go wrong."

His words disturbed me a little.

"But-"

"Come Christine, it is a very special day for us, let us see a show."

Hesitantly I agreed and followed him into his boat. There were many questions I had concerning how, exactly, would "nothing go wrong."

I've mentioned it before, but may I remind you how long the journey is from the bottom of the opera house to the main floors. It takes at least a good 30 minutes. And when you want to go to the very top, like on the roof, I'd say that's a good 45. Of course I've never actually timed myself, but that's what it feels like. Every time Erik took me someplace above the lair, he would take a different way. Lord knows how many ways he could take to get to one room. As time went by I noticed the room that had the most ways to get to was my room.

It was dark when Erik led me through doorway after doorway. I could barely see anything, and held on to Erik hoping I wouldn't trip on anything. Suddenly he stopped and started reaching for something on the wall. We were in a tight dark corner of a hidden passageway. Erik grumbled as he reached higher trying to find a lever of some sort.

"I know - its here somewhere," he said.

Suddenly light shined directly on my face and the next thing I knew we were in Box 5 with the stage right there infront of us. I could hear beautiful operatic singing and closed my eyes in pleasure. As I walked toward the edge of the box to get a full view, Erik pulled me back into the shadows.

"You must not let them see you, Christine. Remember, we are out in public eye now."

I obeyed his words and stood in the hidden corner with him right next to me. The older soprano moved on to her next song which had a slow melancholic melody.

_I stand in the rain, there I'll never be lost_

_No matter where you go or what I see_

_The rain is where my heart is, _

_and though I will follow you always_

_The rain is where I'll always be_

As Erik and I enjoyed the opera, I began wondering again..maybe we could appear in public more often. This idea swirled around in my head and it seemed that it was going to be either a very good idea or a terrible idea.


	11. Chapter 11: The mistake

Chapter 11

* * *

There are some things about myself that I cannot explain. When you are young you do things and then realize you have no intellect of why. Perhaps it is because at times we do things in a hidden state of mind. And when we do these things we subconsciously know why we are doing them, but the only problem is we cannot read our own subconscious. I like to think a big part of my decisions had to do with this theory. I remember the night Erik and I were performing the duet "Past the Point of no return." At the end of the song I tore off his mask. To me this was just a desperate spur of the moment action in an attempt to get the attention off of me. But the more I recollect, the more I think I was subconsciously searching for a way to save his life, to distract the crowd and guards in time for him to take me away, and at least have the chance to escape.

I cared a great deal for Erik, and I truly did want to protect him from the outside world, but there would be times I would put my needs before his.

It was during the show I got the sudden urge to socialize with someone, anyone there on the main floors. It had been so long since I last had a conversation with someone besides Erik. Though it felt like I could never slip past him, he was indeed rather distracted watching the opera. This would definitely test his love and devotion for me once he saw I was sneaking off to talk to people. I glanced up at Erik and it looked like it had to be done now if I was ever going to slip around the curtain and sneak off. I slowly made my way backward until I was able to turn around and swiftly run off toward the stairs. Once I reached the bottom I looked around and it was though I was just an average woman whom people smiled and nodded at as they passed. This was most likely because I did not recognize anyone and vise versa.

"Christine!" I heard a small voice call.

I turned around and it was Meg, running toward me.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I – came to see the show."

I smiled at her and she looked at me with astonishment.

"But what about- "

Then I heard another call my name. I turned around and it was Ismene, a fellow chorus girl that I socialized with often before I became an overnight sensation as a soprano. She had long straight auburn hair just as I remembered, and her long face had large beautiful bright green eyes that stared into mine. She shook her head and looked at me as if she were looking at a ghost.

"You – Christine, you – you are alive!"

I hushed her and took she and Meg into a secluded abandoned corner. I spoke to Ismene in a demanding voice.

"Ismene, you mustn't tell anyone I am alive. Do you understand?"

Her wide eyes twitched and her mouth dropped slightly.

"But Christine you are ALIVE! They searched for you and then presumed you were dead! Oh what a happy day this is! AND RAOUL! Oh Christine just wait until he finds out- "

"NO!" I screamed.

She looked at me in shocked disappointment. Then her face suddenly went expressionless and she looked deeply into my eyes.

"Christine, are you being held captive?"

I sighed and did not answer her question.

"Listen, no one must know that I live. Do not worry Ismene, everything is well. It is just nice to see you again."

Her sympathetic glassy eyes remained on me for a minute, and she reached out and hugged me.

"Oh Christine, it brings happiness to my heart knowing you were not murdered or killed."

Meg suddenly interrupted the reunion.

"She married the phantom, look, she wears a wedding ring."

Just then it hit me. The phantom. My heart started to panic.

"Oh lord, I must leave, I am sorry."

I ran off and went back up the stairs. I peered into box 5 and saw that Erik was no longer anywhere in sight. Without thinking I ran back down the stairs but ran right into a man and fell to the floor. I looked up to see a scruffy looking man whom I immediately recognized. He worked for the opera house, and was the brother of a man Erik had killed by hanging. His wild beady eyes pieced into mine and his voice was loud and intimidating.

"YOU!" he drunkenly hollered.

I scrambled to my feet and started running away from him. I ran down flights of stairs and he was right behind me trying to grab me. I desperately searched for one of Erik's trap doors, hardly being able to breathe, and eventually came across a smaller one. I did not recognize it, but I needed desperately to get away. I opened it and jumped inside and sure enough he followed. It was extremely dark and all I could think about was running faster. It became a tight fit so I crawled some of the way and eventually it sounded like he was quite far behind. Slowing down a little to catch my breath, I began to walk. I had both hands on each side of the brick walls so I could feel where I was going. Then, in the next moment, I felt wall but no floor. I shot downwards and could feel myself falling down an endless abyss of the opera house. My heart leapt out of my chest, I could hardly scream, and could hardly breathe. My lungs were tight and painful. My eyes completely lost their vision and suddenly it felt like this was it. I was going to die; I would hit the ground and cripple myself. What a terrible feeling falling was, and it's even more terrible when you know you have just snapped your last rope.

In a blurred frame of mind, I started kicking my feet and my arms scrambled around me trying to feel for something to grab on to. Though the ground was nonexistent, the walls were still narrow and within my reach. I stretched my arms and legs out as far as they would go and pressed against those walls as hard as I could. The stone rubbed hard into the flesh of my arms and elbows. My knees and legs endured the pain too. Hysterically, with a hoarse voice I screamed out in agony and pain. It was excruciating, and at that point I started to regret not letting myself just fall. Tears streamed down my face and for an instant I prayed for my life. My falling slowed down as I listened to the sound of my skin being scraped and my consciousness began to return to me. Whimpering and aching I looked down and saw that the bottom of this pit was close to being over. There was about five feet between me and the stone floor. So I let go and allowed myself to drop.

I hit the floor hard, and sharp aching pain surged throughout my entire body like lightening. My cheeks were drenched in cold tears and I propped myself against a wall. Then I noticed on the wall there was a door. I opened the small door and crawled out and the darkness turned into a candlelit room. I was back in Erik's lair. I tried to breathe steadily, and then heard footsteps. It was Erik, obviously not aware of what I had just happened to me. I could see he was extremely angry with me and his actions showed pure rage.

"How dare you sneak off again!" he shouted as he jerked me up to my feet forcefully by my wrist. He shouted out of pure insanity and his voice pierced me from the inside.

"YOU WILL NOT RUN FROM ME! I AM YOUR HUSBAND AND YOU ARE MY WIFE! YOU WILL NOT LEAVE ME!"

I balled and whimpered like a child and begged him to release me. He did and turned away breathing heavily. I collapsed on the floor and suddenly I felt dizzy and nauseas. My entire body was shaking. I laid my head down and glanced up to see Erik studying the hand he grabbed my wrist with. It was covered in blood.

I closed my eyes and could hear him rushing to me. He desperately called out my name. I opened my eyes and he fell to his knees before me sick with emotion. His forehead wrinkled in grief and held me like a delicate china doll.

"Oh god in heaven Christine, forgive me!" He sobbed, lifting me slightly and cradling me.

He studied me for a moment, looking at my wounds and then into my eyes. His voice was soft now, and he sounded like himself again.

"What has happened to you?" He held me tighter trying to get composer.

I couldn't speak properly, all I could do was look at him and cry while saying one thing.

"Erik, I am sorry!"

He looked at me with pure astonishment.

"Don't you dare say that Christine…I beg of you!"

Tears rolled down his eyes. He held my hand, studied it, and looked down at me. He spoke to me quietly.

"You're shaking."

When I looked into his eyes, they seemed to calm me down, despite his temper tantrum just moments ago.

Erik lifted me up and carried me to his room. He began cleaning and dressing my wounds. Burning pain devoured my arms and legs. I squirmed in this pain and could feel myself getting light headed. Erik, seeing the pain I was in, asked me if I could drink anything. He brought me some water, and gave me a little wine to help the pain. Erik kept asking me what happened but all I could say is that I fell. He studied me intricately and said that he did not understand. I then told Erik I wanted to try and walk around.

As I walked around the lake, limping, I heard the sound of a door opening. Erik was still in his room, getting more sheets for me. Suddenly I heard the sound of water being splashed around.

I looked around the corner and my heart pounded. There he was, the man who was chasing me. He stomped out of the water and I opened my mouth to yell but I was in too much shock. He looked at me and gritted his teeth. He came after me and reached out to grab me forcefully. I cried out and covered my face. Before he could even touch me however, Erik came from right behind me and grabbed him. He then lifted him in the air and slammed him against the wall. The man cursed and hollered and kicked but Erik held him there, his face beating red from anger. Erik reached for rope that was hooked on the wall and told me to go to his room.

"Erik-"

"Just go Christine, don't worry."

"Erik please!"

Erik did not turn to me but kept his eyes on the wild drunken man.

"You dare lay one finger on my wife-"

The man continued cursing as Erik wrapped rope around his neck.

"This will cost you your life monsieur!" Erik barked.

I cried out to Erik hoping I could stop him from killing yet another man.

"Erik! You PROMISED me!"

He stopped. His eye contact with the man finally broke. Erik looked over at me. Then in an instant while Erik wasn't paying attention the man reached into his pocket and pulled out a knife. Erik cried out when the man gashed his side with the knife. Erik let go of him and fell to the ground. The man dropped the knife and took off running into the lake.

I ran to Erik and stayed by his side until the man was completely gone out of our site. I helped Erik get up and supported him while I took him to his bedroom. After I wrapped Erik's wound in a soft clean cloth to stop the bleeding, I started to examine the knife too see if it was dirty at all. It appeared clean besides Erik's' blood on it. This was a good sign, and it meant no chance of an infection.

I walked over and sat beside Erik as he lay in his bed. I ran my fingers along the thin cloth that covered his side and he twitched in pain. He looked up at me and asked me if the man had gotten away. I nodded.

Erik sighed out in frustration.

"I shouldn't have let him get away," he grumbled.

"But you stopped yourself," I said.

He looked up at me and though he was frowning, his eyes glistened.

"I promised you."

I smiled and felt a tear roll down my cheek. Erik wiped it away and I leaned down to kiss his cheek.

"I am so proud of you, Erik," I muttered.

With that he held me close to him and I rested my head on his shoulder. Guilt took over me now, because Erik was hurt because of me. If I wouldn't have gone off to satisfy my social needs he would not be wounded. But besides that, the man got away. He was drunk and disoriented, yes, but who would know to what extent of consequences my mistake would cause. But more importantly, what other mistakes would I make after this one, which would cost me dearly?


	12. Chapter 12: With Love in Every Stitch

**Chapter 12**

**____________________________________________________**

Falling asleep is a hard thing to do when you are in a lot of pain. Tossing and turning, I was trying to imagine how difficult it must have been for Erik as well. The room was frigid as usual but my body felt extremely hot. I sat up and felt my forehead. I was sweating. I crawled out of Erik's large bed and tried walking around a little. I attempted to be quiet, so I wouldn't disturb Erik. I glanced over at Erik's bookshelves and wondered if reading would put me to sleep. I decided not to, and just sat down next to a few lit candles. I glanced over and saw the cymbal playing monkey, a rather familiar object that could still bring a smile to my face. I took it from the table and wound it up. It started to play its song. _Masquerade_. I set it back onto the table and just watched it. The monkey repeatedly put his cymbals together and moved with the song. I started to hum to it, remembering all the wonderful formal balls I used to attend that would play this type of music. I closed my eyes and imagined myself at yet another one; dancing, watching everyone smile and sing along. I stood up and started twirling about, as if I had a dance partner. I also remembered all the beautiful dresses, and oh! Some of the dresses the ladies would wear looked very fun to waltz in indeed! Ruffled gowns, laced with beautiful detail, twirling about, as they would dance. Then my mind went back to the last ball, the masquerade ball. Though it was ended abruptly because of Erik, it was a splendid ball. Raoul had no trouble making me laugh that night, and he was a wonderful dancer. I still thought of him every now and then, and I would even imagine talking to him just one more time. What he would say and what I would say, I wasn't sure.

It was early in the morning now, and I could hear Erik attempting to get out of bed. I rushed to his room and encouraged him not to walk around. He was obviously in great pain and I wasn't sure if it was a good idea for him to walk.

"Just stay in bed Erik, you need to rest."

He seemed preoccupied, and wasn't quite awake yet. He just seemed to be mumbling.

"What if – what if he comes – what if he returns –"

I quietly hushed him and suddenly he started looking at the bandages on my arms and legs. He did not say anything for a long time.

"I hate to see you like this Christine, your wounds look incredibly painful. May I ask what happened that caused them?"

I then got nervous; Erik would be disappointed in me if I told him that the reason that man came down to his lair was because of my foolishness. However, one thing I knew about Erik, is he could always tell when I was hiding something or lying. Reluctantly I started to speak, but stopped. I tried my hardest not to start crying. Erik seemed as if he did not understand at all, and was examining me intricately.

"You don't want to tell me?"

I shook my head in self-disappointment.

"I was seen, and that man started to run after me. I tried to escape through one of the hidden doorways but I went the wrong way and – and as I was running from him I fell through this tunnel. So in order to save myself from the fall I used my arms and legs to press against the sides of the stone wall."

Erik seemed flustered and frustrated.

"I need to fix that – oh Christine you must forgive me, how terrible I feel you were not warned about that tunnel --"

"No, Erik! You don't understand – I left you to go talk to little Meg and Ismene, I mean I didn't really want to talk to Meg-"

Erik stood up, but quickly grunted in pain and held his side while leaning against a wall. He looked distressed, and I felt ashamed of myself. I covered my face and started to cry.

"Christine…"

"I'm so sorry Erik," I sobbed.

"Christine, please, do not cry. Come, I want to show you something."

I looked up at him, confused. He did not seem angry at all. I took his hand and he slowly led me into a small room I have never been in before. Infront of me was something that had a sheet over it. He let go of my hand and spoke softly.

"Close your eyes."

I did so, and I heard him take the sheet off. When he told me to open my eyes I found myself completely in awe. Infront of me was the most stunning ball gown I had ever seen. It was a beautiful pale blue with gold stitching and had lace ruffles all along the bottom. And it looked my size. I slowly walked towards it, noticing new ornate details with every step. The gown was glistening with beautiful rhinestones and the eloquent design of the dress was like nothing I had ever seen before. Just looking at it took my breath away.

"Erik, who's gown is this?!"

He kept his eyes on my and smiled.

"Why, it is yours Christine."

"But where did you get a gown such as this?"

I had no clue who could have possibly owned a dress like that. Carlotta's gowns weren't even half as beautiful as this one.

"I made it."

I looked over at him, stunned out of my mind.

"You – what?"

"I don't know if you ever noticed, but I used to take dresses from your room in order to discover your dress size. I know how much you love beautiful dresses Christine, I used to watch you sneak into Carlotta's dressing room just to gaze admiringly upon her ball gowns. I knew you would love to have one of your own, and so I have been working on creating this lovely dress just for you. I have always wanted to make a dress that brought out your true beauty, not just some gaudy and lurid thing that was just for show. I have put a lot of time into it, and I hope you will like it."

I was speechless. No one had ever done anything like that for me before. Just thinking about how hard he must have worked on it, and how much time he put into it; it was all too much. I felt as excited as a small child. Just the thought that I owned something _that_ beautiful was a feeling much passed sublime, a feeling I had never experienced.

Erik knelt down in pain and I took his hands.

"This dress, Erik, is absolutely gorgeous. I never you were such a craftsmen in this area! Why do you do such wonderful things for me?" I couldn't help but keep smiling.

"Because I am in love, my dear."

I covered my face, trying not to expose my blushing, and Erik smiled at this.

"Christine, I know things can get dreary for you down here, and if you want to socialize with the people you know, might I suggest a more hidden way to do it?"

I was completely astounded Erik was being so patient. He was starting to be a better husband than I had ever imagined he would be. I could tell he was trying to change for me, and it made me want to change for him as well.

"What do you mean, Erik?"

"They are holding another masquerade ball, Christine. As long as we disguise ourselves, I think we would have a marvelous time together. I noticed you this morning, dancing around, and I think taking you to a ball would help lift your spirit greatly since you love dancing so well."

His words excited me. Not only did I long to go to another ball, but being dressed in Erik's beautifully made gown would make it even better. I grinned in excitement and wrapped my arms around him, he held me tightly for a moment, and then looked at me with enthusiasm.

"Do you want to try it on?"

I nodded and ran quickly to the gown. I took it to my room and when I tried it on immediately felt how perfectly it fit me. Erik came in and helped me tie the back. I stepped infront of my mirror and hardly recognized myself. The gown accentuated every curve on my body and the color brought out my eyes like no other clothing I had ever worn. Erik studied it, seemingly proud of his work. I twirled around and the dress caught air under it and flourished outward, blossoming a greater area of the floor.

"Oh, Erik it fits beautifully! I will be the envy of the ball!"

"You are always the envy, darling."

_________________________________________

Though Erik did not move around much, he still wanted to be at his organ, playing and singing his music. He wrote many songs in one day, and could write dozens of songs just on my eyes alone. He wrote such beautiful pieces. On one particular night I had asked him to play me something on his piano to help me sleep. He told me to sit down next to him on the bench. When I did, he began playing a particularly beautiful song I had never heard him play before. I closed my eyes and nestled my head against his shoulder, and he poured romantic passion onto the keys, making the song soar even deeper into my entrancing state. He then began to sing. His voice had become an addiction; when he sang to me I could hear nothing else, I could see nothing else, nothing but him. He would occasionally lean in and sing softly into my ear for a moment, making me feel as if I were passed the clouds, above and beyond them just floating about. He then stopped playing his piano, but continued to sing, while wrapping his arms gently around me.

_No one would listen  _

_No one but her  _

_Heard as the outcast hears.  _

_Shamed into solitude  _

_Shunned by the multitude _

_I learned to listen  _

_In my dark, my heart heard music. _

_I longed to teach the world  _

_Rise up and reach the world  _

_No one would listen  _

_I alone could feel the music  _

_Then at last, a voice in the gloom  _

_Seemed to cry "I hear you;  _

_I hear your fears,  Your torment and your tears."  _

_She saw my loneliness  _

_Shared in my emptiness  _

_No one would listen  _

_No one but her  _

_Heard as the outcast hears  _

_No one would listen  _

_No one but her  _

_Heard as the outcast hears_

Though I could feel myself slipping into a deep sleep, I opened my eyes to see Erik with teary eyes, watching me.

"Erik," I said in almost a whisper, "when did you write that song?"

"It was that night I thought I had lost you, the night you left but came back."

He held me closer and I closed my eyes.

"Erik, do you ever think about maybe leaving this place?"

There was a moment of silence. Then he spoke sounding a little confused.

"And go where, my love?"

"Oh, just somewhere away from here. Away from everyone trying to hurt us, somewhere where we can live by ourselves. Like out in the country, maybe a cottage, with a beautiful garden and a wooden fence. One with large fields holding dashing wildflowers as far as the eye can see."

I sighed and smiled, thinking about it.

"I think that is a lovely image, Christine."

I sat up and looked at him.

"Wouldn't you miss the operas here though, Erik? You would no longer live at a place where you grew up and opened your heart to music."

He gently started rubbing back, looking as if he were considering this thought.

"I have lived down here many years, yes, and I have written many operas for this place. But music will be with me no matter where I go, and it is not the opera house I am in love with, Christine, it is you. You are and have always been my muse. You are the inner essence of my talent, that light that always inspires me. The setting is therefore irrelevant. Living alone with you without any distractions of the world would be wonderful."

A small smile spread across my face and I leaned in, giving him soft subtle kisses. He still had tears in his eyes, and I wiped them all away.

"Erik, I am sorry for all the times I have run away from you. Please believe me when I promise you I will never run from you again."

His eyes seemed to be glistening with love and affection. He was an emotional mess, but I knew I had healed part of his heart by saying those words. Erik took deep breaths trying to talk to me.

"My beloved Christine, how I have longed for you all these years. You must pardon my emotions, which seem to be running away. But all I can say is that – I love you dearly – and wholeheartedly. And even if you would tell me right now you never wanted to see me again, I would still always be right here -- loving you for the rest of my life."

Eventually his composure broke and he could not speak anymore. I gently hushed him and ran my fingers through his hair, and he buried his face in my shoulder.

"Oh, my dear husband, if only I could catch these runaway emotions of yours." He and I both laughed at this, and Erik asked me if I wanted him to play for me longer. I smiled and shook my head.

"Just take me to bed, dear." I extended my arms to him and he picked me up, and carried me to his bed. Before I fell asleep he whispered into my ear, _I love you_.


	13. Chapter 13: A Step for a Note

**Chapter 13**

* * *

There were always times when I wondered just how much there was to know about Erik. There were the things that were obvious, and then there were the things you would have never guessed before. When one says Erik is a mysterious man, they aren't joking. I grew up hearing this man's voice, and once he had revealed himself to me I thought I knew everything about him. I did not think much of his past, actually. All I knew was that he was this shunned tragic being, and that used to be enough for me. Living with him however, I found out things about him each and every day that I had never known before. Getting to know Erik as a person helped me greatly to understand and appreciate him. He seems like someone completely different when all you know about him is rumors and hearsay. Even when he exposes himself to you, that's not even a piece of the whole person who is Erik. On the outside, he is literally a monster. And one might think, he is on the inside as well. I once told him that it was not only his face that was distorted, but his soul as well. Anger and the sin of murder would make anyone believe this. But what everyone had failed to do was look past his flawed attributes, and discover what a warm and wonderful person Erik truly was deep down. I even failed to do this for the longest time, and it wasn't long before I found that he had more inside him than any of us in this world who are considered handsome and attractive.

As weeks went by Erik seemed to be healing a lot faster, and eventually he was walking around normally. I was doing fine as well, and it wasn't long before we were making trips to see operas again. Erik's company became more than enough for me, and I would have no desire to wander off at all. I felt that I had finally found my true companion, and I was beginning to feel happiness that I thought I had lost long ago. During shows we would sit together, with Erik's arm around me snugly, holding my hand. If it was one thing I thought I would never be able to distract him from, it was an opera. Occasionally I would play silly games with him, or would fidget around with his hand and surprisingly it would distract him from the show every time. Very few men would allow their wives this type of childish play, but Erik seemed to be a lot different. More often I would playfully try to push his buttons, and he would do the same. This was our own way as a couple to express our comfort around each other.

After we had returned from the show, I started to think about the upcoming ball and asked Erik if he knew how to dance. He was pulling the boat away from the lake, then turned toward me and shook his head.

"It is not a talent that I possess I am afraid. I have watched people dance, yes, but I myself have never had the opportunity myself to learn." He didn't really look at me, so I guessed was slightly embarrassed.

"Well then allow me to teach you."

He had an intrigued look on his face, and agreed. I had never taught anyone to dance before, and I wasn't even quite sure if I was the one to teach him. But being that I was probably more skilled than other young ladies, I thought I'd give it a try. I showed him basic steps, and gave him an introduction to waltzing. He picked it up very quickly, and I found Erik to be an astonishingly fast learner. He was very soaked into it, and I could tell he would enjoy dancing once he learned everything. Hours went by and it became very entertaining. Erik would be staring at his own feet while dancing, fearing he would step on mine. I would laugh at this, and tell him that he must keep his eyes on mine in order to be a successful dancer. He would joke around and tell me to stop smiling then, and this only made me smile more. He seemed to get better and better at it as days went by, and one special evening by my request we journeyed to the roof of the opera house.

"Now your true test, Erik, after all this practice, is to dance with me under these stars as elegantly as the night itself."

A charming smile spread across his face, and he held out his hand to me. Coincidently, we could hear faint soft music being played below us. With long sweeping movements, Erik and I delightedly started dancing. Suddenly I realized Erik was getting better than I was, and his dancing was not only soft and gentle but also romantic. He twirled me about and I felt the soft breeze of the evening through my hair. I closed my eyes and was enraptured by the moment, waltzing under glimmering moonlight that reflected beautiful sparkles off of my flowing dress. Erik seemed to be enjoying himself as well, and seemed captivated while dancing with me. As the soft music started to fade, he lifted me up and gracefully whirled me around, causing the layers of my dress and his cape to flaunt outward with the gust of soft wind. He then gently placed me back down, and our eye contact stayed powerfully locked. I felt myself becoming flustered, and shyly smiled at him.

"Well Erik, it seems you have surpassed me in this particular area."

Erik's face seemed to be glowing with pride, and his excitable tone of voice hinted at his great anticipation for the ball.

"Oh Christine this was a wonderful idea to come up here and dance. It is a splendidly beautiful night under these stars!"

I gazed up at them, and for a moment became lost in their sparkle. A memory came to me, and it made me smile.

"My father used to tell me something about stars."

Erik came from behind me and put his arms around me.

"And what is that, my dear?"

"He used to tell me that the night sky was like a dark blanket, and the stars were just apertures that shined the light of heaven through them."

"Well then my darling, I better hold on to you incase heaven wants their ethereal angel back and tries pulling you back through these apertures."

I giggled and turned around.

"Well if it does you would have to come with me, you are after all the angel of music. They might as well bring you back as well."

Erik jokingly shrugged and straightened his coat.

"It is much too bright up there. I would rather stay right down here with you."

I chuckled and took Erik's hand. He looked deeply into my eyes and smiled.

"Erik, do you ever think about your mother?"

Erik turned slightly and gazed out toward the sky.

"Yes, I think about her every day."

I saw a change in his eyes, and he looked as if he were recalling memories with gloom. I did not mean to put him in a state of nostalgia, but before I could try to change the subject he spoke.

"I never knew who my father was, so my dear mother was all I had in the world when I was a young child. I have faint memories of when I was very little, she used to sit me on her lap while playing the piano and singing. It would usually make me fall asleep. Of course my mother became very sick in the head as time went by, and she was not herself anymore. She stopped playing music, and just lied in bed most of the day. She very much detested my distortion. She would always look at me with great disappointment, and one day made this mask for me. She would not want to look at me until I put it on. And one day she left saying she'd be right back, but she never came back – then I had no one. I just wandered the streets for days, just a child, wanting my poor dear mother to find me and take me back home. People on the street would call me vile names, no one would take me in, and that awful feeling I felt as a child was difficult."

Erik paused and finally looked at me, seemingly calm and peaceful but at the same time sorrowful.

"Then I found this opera house, I found music, and I found you, Christine. And since then things have gotten better."

This was the first time Erik ever truly elaborated on the subject of his mother or his days before the opera house. Just listening to him alone made my heart break for him.

"But I'm not that little boy anymore, Christine. I am a man who has been set free because of the passion for music and the passion for love. And now I have a wife! I! Someone who has always been shunned, have found that one person who will listen to me. You will never quite understand just how much you heal me, Christine."

I covered my face, trying to hide tears. Erik was bringing out emotions I had never experienced before. He touched my arm and I kept my face hidden. When I spoke however, it gave away the fact I was crying.

"It couldn't have been all _my_ doing, Erik."

I heard him slightly laugh and felt him trying to pull my arms away from my face.

"Christine…"

Hearing his gentle call, I finally gave in and lowered my arms. He brushed his thumbs across my cheeks, getting rid of my tears. I then pulled him closer to me, and he knelt down. I wrapped my arms around his neck and lovingly put my forehead against his. The wind was getting colder, and gusts of wind were starting to come about. I shivered and Erik held me a little tighter.

"We better go back now my darling, you I don't want you catching a cold."

I agreed and followed him all the way back down to the lower levels of the opera house. Once he rowed me back to the lair, I stepped out and left to put a nightgown on. When I came out Erik was at his organ, strumming a familiar tune. I stepped closer to him and started singing with the song. It was one of the many songs he had written for me. While singing I noticed my voice had become astoundingly powerful over the last few months, in fact Erik had told me that at this point I far surpassed Carlotta's range. He had fully transformed my voice, even while I was living with him. I enjoyed hearing myself sing, because I had become so skilled I hardly recognized my own voice. It was a good feeling. After finishing our song, Erik nodded in approval and told me I sang brilliantly. I happily jumped into his arms and kissed him like an overly excited little girl.

"Your father would be very proud of you, my dear."

I looked at him and smiled with pride.

"And he spoke the truth when he told me he would send the angel of music to me," I said.

Erik's eyes glistened and he looked touched. He slowly leaned in and hesitantly kissed me, and my gentle response seemed to break down any barriers that were left between us.


	14. Chapter 14: Christine's Lullaby

**Chapter 14**

* * *

It was a little after three in the afternoon, and an hour before Erik had said he was going to run some errands. It was odd being by myself in his lair, so I started strumming on our piano. It seemed so strange how, after feeling more like a guest in his abode for so long I finally felt very at home. It used to be a dungeon to us both, a depressing escape for Erik and a forced unwanted fate for me. Together we had somehow made it not so dreary, but I had dreams for one day leaving with Erik to a sunnier place where we could be away from the rest of the world. It was a dream the both of us shared now, and more and more I could see it in Erik's face. I got up and started playfully dancing around the room. Twirling about purposely making myself dizzy, I started thinking of the upcoming ball. I imagined how beautiful my gown was going to look, sparkling about the room for all eyes to envy. I stopped twirling, for I had ran into Erik's bookshelf, knocking over a few. As I bent down and picked up the books that had fallen, I noticed one book looked familiar. It was the book of old myths, the one I had been reading the first few nights I stayed with Erik, the one that told me of shadows that show your fate. I studied the book a little, and it sent chills down my spine just feeling the old withered texture of it.

Suddenly brightly colored objects appeared infront of my face. I gasped and jumped backwards, throwing the book up into the air. Then I saw they were flowers Erik was holding infront of me. I heard the book thud behind me so I shuffled over to it with embarrassment and shoved it back into the bookcase in a clumsy manner. Erik chuckled and walked over to me, apologizing. Though I was flushed with embarrassment, his flowers brought a smile to my face and I took them to my face, letting their aroma drench my senses. Erik leaned in and gave me tender kisses on my cheek, making me giggle while trying to turn away from him. I placed the flowers in a vase, and gazed at them for a long time. Erik then asked me if I was alright, and I turned to his direction nodding.

"Erik, would you like to go somewhere today?"

His eyes stayed fixed on me with curiosity. I glanced back down at the flowers and slightly caressed one.

"It's just that it IS near the end of spring and I bet the fields of wildflowers are gorgeous this time of year."

I paused and spoke to him more quietly.

"Have you ever really been to the outskirts of Paris?"

He seemed extremely interested, but tried hiding it with his body language.

"Well -- If I ever have I don't remember it."

I smiled and took his hand.

"Come Erik, there is so much I want to show you today."

__

It was in the evening now, and we were miles away from Paris. I sat in the carriage watching the number of houses and people go past me become fewer and fewer. Erik was dressed in a black cloak, covering his face as he steered the horses. The weather was peculiarly warm, and the breeze seemed to be getting softer than ever. Soon surrounding us were beautiful trees and vast fields, and I told him to stop the carriage. I stepped out of the carriage only to find Erik already walking closer to the field infront of us, flourished with flowers. Wisps of wheat grew amongst the wildflowers that adorned the field near him and I stood there for a moment, taking in his awe. There were poppies showing off their bright red colors, which blended beautifully with the blues and purples of borage plants dancing in the breeze that crossed the entire field. They were in full blossom and radiated the landscape as a whole. The sun was setting, and the deep golden light glistened over the entire field making it shimmer with rapturous poise and charm. I walked over to Erik and placed my hand on his shoulder. He slightly turned toward me, but did not break his eye contact with the meadow surrounding us.

"Is there something wrong, Erik?"

He did not respond for a moment, but I saw a sad smile beginning spread across his face.

"No Christine, at this very moment I cannot think of one thing that troubles me."

It was a powerful statement, especially for Erik. I saw him slightly lift his eyes to look at the big bright orange sunset stretched across the sky, gleaming soft evening light into his sad eyes. He continued speaking.

"You know I – I never thought that anything one could see with their eyes alone – could ever bring someone truth and happiness….or peace. I've always detested the naked eye, being that the naked eye was what shoved me away from the rest of the world, what made me so miserable, so different. And if I had the power, I used to swear; oh I swore that I would make the world black! Doused in blackness because nothing good EVER came from things visual! I wanted everyone's eyesight blinded so that no one could see anything, so that they could not see me, but hear me."

He paused, and then slightly shook his head, glancing over the pasture. Then he quietly spoke.

"But this Christine…this field and its beautiful grace…it's almost as if it heals me."

I saw tears streaming down his face, sparkling as the light hit them, and he turned away from me.

He knelt down and I knelt with him, putting my arm around his shoulders. I saw a small closed bud next to me and I plucked it from the ground.

"Do you see this bud, Erik? It feels different from others, so it is afraid to blossom in the presence of sun. But little does it know how beautiful it really is."

Erik took the flower from my hand and looked at me. I smiled at him.

"It may think that only in darkness is it's time to bloom, but perhaps gorgeous daylight will embrace it even more."

Erik silently wept while smiling at the flower. I pulled out my soft linen handkerchief and started dabbing the tears off his face, not realizing I myself had started tearing up.

"Oh my dear husband," I said in a slight giggle "You're a mess."

He looked into my eyes so deeply that I almost lost my train of thought. We both stood up slowly and he took my hand and kissed it with warm romantic gentleness. The soft breeze picked up and wrapped itself around us, as if we were one. I was completely and fully in his spell. But this wasn't a spell of his voice or his talents, or even his ability to awe me. At that moment I let my whole being fall into this alluring spell he had me in, the spell of true love.

"Not one thing Christine, not one thing in this universe has enamored me the way you have," his words were rich and his voice was deep and calming.

"I can tell you that I am deeply and ardently in love with you, but that wouldn't ever come to be near how I truly feel, and for that reason I am lost for words. I have been lost in your eyes, your smile, your hair, your voice...I have admired you from afar since the day you walked into the opera house as a child. And, that pain I used to see in your eyes – your beautiful young eyes – all I ever wanted to do was take it all away. And that is why…when I thought you were going away with another man, I didn't want you to. Because if you were ever shoved aside or viewed as anything less than a bright star shining in the hearts of so many, or not loved the way you deserve to be – I wouldn't be there."

I pulled him closer to me, and he placed his forehead on mine. Soft faded sunlight seemed to be the only thing between us now, and we held each other as the sun finally sank into the earth.

When we came back to his lair, I started dressing into a nightgown and stopped when I saw my father's picture. I smiled at it, finally feeling at peace with his death. Finishing up my routine, I reached for a brush to comb my hair, but It wasn't long before I felt Erik coming up from behind me, wrapping his arms around me and kissing the side of my face uncontrollably. He was a very affectionate husband, which I was growing very fond of.

"Erik," I giggled.

I turned around and he took my small hand in his. He nervously caressed it, and I looked up into his eyes.

"I wrote a new piece for you, Christine."

He had written many pieces for me, but never had he actually announced them. He would just play them and I would overhear. He led me to his piano, and I stood at a distance as he sat on the piano bench. I closed my eyes, expecting one of his strong passionate type pieces. When Erik started to play, a soft, higher-octave sequence of single notes filled the room. Notes that were sweet and calming, totally different from his usual pieces. He strummed peacefully on the keys, producing a beautifully touching melody that felt like a recollection of precious childhood memories you thought were long forgotten. I stood there behind him awed, feeling his song soar it's way into my heart. And then he began to sing.

_

_And so she drifts into the night_

_She is safe with me, she will be alright_

_She shall cry no more, not one sweet tear_

_Because she shall know that I am here_

_

_And she must know I love her in many ways_

_I will be her hope, and she my brightening day_

_And if ever she walks alone, if her spirit shall ever die_

_Then may she remember this night I sing her lullaby_

_

_And until then, if anything should cause her harm_

_Then I will take her in my arms_

___

_No one on this earth has heard the voice of an angel _

_Because no one on this earth has ever seen_

_Such a lovely essence, such a genuine heart, _

_Such a beautiful grace, as my Christine._

___

I did not realize I was crying until I blinked a couple times, which caused a few more teardrops to rapidly escape from my eyelids. He had written me a lullaby. A beautiful, heartening lullaby. The lyrics were still swooning their way around me, causing me to not notice Erik turning to face me. He stepped closer to me, and did not have a look of worry on his face as he usually does when he sees me crying. I was smiling, smiling with tears running down my cheeks. He slightly brushed my cheek with his thumb, not saying a word, and I reached my arms up for him. As he bent down I wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could, burying my face in his shoulder. I then tried to say something, but I stopped and realized I was speechless. Erik seemed to understand my gesture, and smiled as he took my face in his hands. In blissful emotional breaths I tried to sound out the word 'how' while almost laughing, and he seemed to have a very pleased look on his face.

"I've told you before, that I am just a poor dog ready to die for you Christine," he said, as if repeating this statement for the hundredth time amused him.

I nodded my head, still smiling. A feeling swept over me at that moment. A feeling that I knew surely surpassed any feeling I had ever experienced while being with Raoul. I ran my fingers through his thin hair, not being able to keep myself off of him anymore. He seemed to enjoy my sudden burst of loving gestures, just as any 'poor dog ready to die for me' would. It was only moments before he became just as affectionate, keeping himself as close to me as possible as he tenderly yet eagerly caressed me while I wrapped myself around him, kissing him with devotion.

* * *

**end note:** Yes, I wrote the lullaby. Thank you for the compliments :)


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